My Friends and Relatives Should Be Reality TV Stars

Now for something completely different.  I have previously confessed that I watch too much reality television.  Now, to further alienate myself from respectable society, I will cast my friends and relatives in the reality TV series that would be their perfect match.

The Amazing Race - This is a terrific show and I've gotten my wife hooked on it this season.  I have long thought that my sister Vera would be the perfect contestant for this.  She's a globetrotter and would be an instant TV star.  Amazing Race features duos competing in challenges in various countries. A couple of people would be good partners for my sister, but probably the best would be her good friend Antonietta.  They would be so good, in fact, that I think Hollywood would offer them their own show.

Survivor - Who is the best person I know to outwit, outplay, and outlast everybody else at some exotic locale, struggling to find food, to start a fire from scratch, to build shelter, to battle the elements, and to play social mindgames in order to keep from being eliminated in a pursuit to win a million dollars? I pick my good friend Robert who used to go by the monicker of "Robsterman" online. There have been heroic and villainous all-stars on Survivor and Robert would likely top them all. 

The Apprentice - My sister Elizabeth is a financial and business guru, so I think she would be unstoppable in this competition.  Whether or not she would actually want to work for Donald Trump if she won is another story.

Hell's Kitchen - I would like to see my parents on this show.  Not only are they excellent cooks, but I think America would fall in love with them.  Plus, they would put the fear of God in Chef Ramsay.  It would be hilarious to watch.

American Idol - One of my wife Juliana's favorite reality shows was The Mole, and she would probably be excellent in it, either playing the undercover saboteur or figuring out who the secret person was.  But I think she would be even better on American Idol, because despite her modest protests, I think she has an incredible singing voice and I would love to see her train and then showcase her talent for all the world to see.

On the Lot - This reality show, searching for the next big Hollywood filmmaker, was a total mess. But if it ever comes back and if they manage to turn it into a halfway decent show, then I select my buddies Dean and Christy, from Level 92 Films, to be on it, because their short movies are awesome (and much better than what I saw during the horrendous first season of On the Lot.)

America's Got Talent - If they're looking for a new judge, how about my sister-in-law Liandra?  She would be the perfect judge to critique the people on stage, just as entertaining, and probably moreso, than "the Hoff" David Hasselhoff, Piers Morgan, and Sharon Osbourne.

Brian and Violetta Plus Eight - Okay, my sister and her husband only have three kids so far, but my brother-in-law wants to eventually have enough children to have his own professional basketball team, so eventually they might catch up to Jon and Kate, maybe even surpassing them, and my nieces and nephews would be much more adorable to watch than any other tykes currently on television.

Who Wants to Be a Superhero - I like this cheesy show in which comic book legend Stan Lee searches for the next original superhero created by average joes like -- me!  That's right, I would be the best contestant on a show like this.  I'd call my hero Superfanboy and he would be the ultimate in geeky goodness.

There you have it.  If I you are one of the people I mentioned above, I thank you for your good sense of humor and for being a good sport.  If you are reading this and I left you off the list, consider yourself lucky...for now!  Sequels might be forthcoming!