Tiffany and Debbie Gibson to Star in Syfy Creature Feature

If you are a fan of the 1980s, as I am, I can only imagine your reaction to the news last week that the flashy decade's two most notable teenybopper icons, Tiffany (who only needed one name, thank you very much) and Debbie Gibson (who now would like to be called Deborah, thank you also very much) will team up for an orignal television movie on Syfy called (drumroll, please) Mega Python vs. Gataroid.  Tiffany will play an "overzealous park ranger" and Gibson will portray "a snake-rights activist."  Apparently, the former pop stars will have a scene or two of catfights with each other and then join forces to battle the titular giant monsters.

If my tone sounds more cheeky than usual, it is nothing compared to other media reports, which are practically gushing with over-the-top enthusiasm that makes me wonder where the sarcasm ends and the demented nostalgic euphoria begins.  FOX News beams, "It's the fight we've all been waiting for since the days of leg warmers and acid-washed jeans."  The words in the Hollywood Reporter article, which was picked up by Billboard and other media outlets, seem to practically drool with anticipation: "Yes, they will fight.  The network promises an epic battle between the former teen pop stars." MTV News reports with joyful abandon: "If you thought watching a supersized shark take on an equally supersized octopus was entertaining, wait'll you get a load of what the Asylum is cooking up for Syfy."  The Washington Post's "Celebritology" blog chimes in with: "The 'rivalry' between ‘80s pop stars Tiffany and Deborah 'not Debbie' Gibson will finally come to a glorious, epic head."  So many tongues planted in so many cheeks!

Who knew there was such demand for a Tiffany-Gibson collaboration?  Imagine the screams of delight if they actually came out with a joint music album.  But at least we'll get to see them act and see their stunt doubles fight.  Adding to the hyperbole, Thomas Vitale, Syfy's Executive VP of Programming and Original Movies, says, "They loved the idea of taking this perceived rivalry and having some fun with it.  The catfight on Dynasty was a seminal TV moment and it's time to re-create that for a new generation." 

The stars themselves add to the preproduction hype with quotes that seem tailor-made by the best PR staff that money can buy.  Gibson said in a released statement, "I know that pop culture fanatics have been dying for Tiffany and me to collaborate for the past 24 years! What better way to do it than by battling each other in a campy romp through the Everglades?"  Tiffany adds, channeling the words from that hit song, "Only in my dreams have I been able to have a catfight with Debbie Gibson...until now!  This is so MEGA cool!"

The TV movie, directed by Mary Lambert who brought us Pet Sematary, and written by Naomi Selfman who wrote Evil Eyes, starts production next month and is scheduled to air in 2011. If nothing else, the fight between the two one-time singing sensations in a bar and then a swamp should be worth catching for some camptastic thrills. Mark your calendars now!