City of Kik

Adventures with Customer Service

2012-01-27T16:40:00.000-05:00

I will soon reach a point when I will have a panic attack at the mere thought of having to call a customer service representative about anything. Maybe that's what businesses want as they make it ever more complicated to resolve an issue or, in some cases, virtually impossible to speak to a human being at all to resolve a problem.

I've had some terrible experiences in the past that have annoyed me and inconvenienced me (and yes, angered me) so much that it forced my hand and made me decide to cancel my service with those companies altogether. (Cablevision and Verizon both come to mind -- I dropped them and haven't looked back.)

Two recent experiences have driven me to the precipice of insanity as I've tried to fix what seemed to be relatively simple concerns. First, I subscribe to Sports Illustrated magazine, but for some reason I've been getting two copies of the same issue in my mailbox the last few weeks. I thought this would be a quick and easy thing to correct by going online, but trying to find a valid Web page on SI's site was a hassle. A separate Google search for their customer service led me to the info, but why do they make it so difficult for subscribers to find help? Every magazine (nay, any product or service at all) should have an easy to find icon on their online home page for customer feedback. Anything more complex than "one click away" is absurd.

I typed in my account information only to discover that my subscription is handled by a separate company -- Synapse Group, Inc. They only had a phone number to call, no electronic communication option. So I called the number, but it turned out to be an automated system with no way to speak to a human being. None of the options given on the recording matched the reason I was calling, but I tried most of them anyway. The closest seemed to be "Delivery Problems," but the only choices were "Missing Issue" or "Damaged Issue." My problem was that I was getting two issues! After wasting a lot of my precious time going through the labyrinth of the automated system with no luck, I finally gave up and went back online.

I searched for Synapse Group and found their corporate phone number. I dialed it only to reach another automated recording. One of the options was for "Subscription Services," with a different number from the one I dialed before, so I tried that only to find myself in another useless maze of pre-recorded options that didn't provide me with the information I needed -- and no way to talk to a human. I called the corporate number again and tried dialing "0" to speak to anyone who might be alive, but no one answered and it just kept taking me back to the automated choices, an endless loop that would drive anyone mad.

Rather than just call some poor random worker at Synapse in the blindshot hope that he or she might be able to direct me to the appropriate person, I tried once again to search online, and somehow I found another Web page where I could manage my account (separate from the page I found on the main Sports Illustrated Web site). I don't know how I found it, but lo and behold, there, buried, was a choice to correct multiple issues being delivered to my home. Apparently they had me listed under two accounts -- thankfully I was able to merge them into one, so I'll only receive (and be charged for) one subscription. We'll wait and see how it turns out.

If a human being were managing the account, they would have been able to see that there were two printed issues going to the same person at the same address, but when everything becomes automated it's easy to let such mistakes slip and blame it on "computer error." I was able to fix the problem after some annoyance, but I still would like to speak to a human being to file a complaint to keep this from happening again -- and to make sure that I haven't lost a few issues from my subscription due to their mix-up. (And they wonder why digital is beating print.)

Another ridiculous misadventure that I've endured the last few months has been with DirecTV. I love my satellite television service, and for the most part the customer service staff there is always cordial and extremely helpful. DirecTV solicited me with an offer to upgrade to a new TiVo brand HD receiver. I jumped at the chance because I've been eagerly waiting for DirecTV and TiVo to partner again. Even though I currently have a DirecTV high-definition DVR, I'm excited to get the TiVo brand again. I ordered it on December 22, they charged my credit card on December 23, the technician came to my house on January 2 to install the receiver -- but he had the wrong one with him. He brought the receiver I currently already have, not the new TiVo brand that I wanted and purchased. Apparently, they didn't have in stock the TiVo HD H34 which I ordered. They told me they'd come back with the right receiver on the 14th. No one came and no one contacted me with an explanation. I lost two days of my time waiting for them to deliver and install it, and no satisfactory explaination on what happened or when exactly they'd get it right.

So now the fun begins. I called and tried to resolve the issue, but the customer service representatives, even the supervisors with whom I spoke, seemed to have their hands tied regarding what they could do to expedite my issue. I just wanted to know an explanation of what happened and a date of when my receiver would be delivered and installed. Multiple emails and phonecalls (in which I had to retell my dilemma to someone new each time) seemed to lead nowhere. They made note of my concerns in my account, they told me they would contact the subcontractor to expedite my order, and they promised that someone would be in touch about the issue within 24 hours.

Nothing. As a longtime customer of DirecTV, you would think some Customer Service Manager would be assigned to handle my case until it was satisfactorily resolved -- instead, it seemed that the system wouldn't allow it, that the only thing they could do was pass the buck in a circle of confusion.

Frustrated beyond belief, I looked again online at my account on DirecTV.com. The last open order was the early January installation which never happened. It listed a separate phone number to call about my appointment. I figured, let me give this new phone number a shot since I tried almost everything else. It was (no surprise) an automated message, but when I entered my account info, I was informed that I have an upcoming service appointment in a few weeks. Interesting, since no one bothered to tell me or confirm this with me! Does this mean that they have the correct receiver I ordered and will install it that day? The automated message I had called gave me the option to keep the appointment, cancel it, or reschedule it -- I kept it! It was the most progress I had made during this whole ordeal.

I would still like to receive a phone call from an actual human being (but at this point I'll even settle for an email or voice message) verifying that this will indeed be resolved soon, explaining what happened and what will happen next. Will the February appointment be kept and all will be resolved that day? Until then, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I know that it's a two-way street -- some customers can be just as annoying as the automated customer service systems. There has to be a happy middleground, though, in which open communication makes customers like me happy and makes their business practices most efficient. They should remember the adage that "the customer is always right" -- the more we get frustrated or find it difficult to do business with them, the more the likelihood that we will abandon them and seek similar services elsewhere. Lately, however, a better name for our experience would be Customer Disservice!

Cryptic Lyrics in Children's Songs

2012-01-26T22:29:00.000-05:00

The other day I raised a question on Facebook if anyone knew the meaning of the lyrics to the popular children's song "Pop Goes the Weasel." It's one of my young daughter's current favorites, and like a few other kids' tunes, the words baffle me. One of my friends suggested that it was just intentionally "nonsensical" because children like nonsense. That made me smile, but it led me no further in solving the riddle of the cryptic lyrics.

An Internet search educated me on the song's British origins, but my cultural ignorance just added to my confusion. The current Americanized words are mindboggling enough: "All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel. The monkey thought 'twas all in fun. Pop goes the weasel! A penny for a spool of thread, a penny for a needle. That's the way the money goes. Pop goes the weasel!" (There's a third stanza about whooping cough and measles, but it just adds to my confusion, so I ignore it.) The original version from England was even more perplexing: "Half a pound of tuppenny rice, half a pound of treacle" -- say what? Or another version from the 1800's that goes "Up and down the City Road, in and out the Eagle." My brain can't handle it.

Is it meant to be, as my friend pointed out, pure nonsense, like "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll? Or is there a deeper meaning that has been lost to antiquity?

Some nursery rhymes have very relaxing or catchy melodies, but examination of the lyrics reveals a darker subtext. "London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London Bridge is falling down, my fair lady" - speculation abounds that the song refers to the violent destruction of the Bridge by the Vikings. There's even a gruesome theory that it refers to burying living sacrifices in the Bridge's foundation.

Some lullabyes are not as soothing upon closer examination -- "Rock-a-bye, baby, on the tree top, when the wind blows the cradle will rock, when the bough breaks the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all." Yikes! What the heck is a baby doing up in a tree? Where's Superman when we need him to catch the baby tumbling from the wind-blown limb?

How about "Ring around the rosies, pocket full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall down?" Innocent or frightening? A simple, harmless little song or a morbid retelling of deaths from the black plague?

Even more contemporary songs have made some adults suspect hidden meanings. Take one of my all-time childhood faves "Puff the Magic Dragon," for example. The Peter, Paul, and Mary song gained popularity in the 1960s and was turned into a series of cartoons in the 1970s (with the great Burgess Meredith providing the voice of the noble Puff). Despite strong denials by the original songwriters and performers, many still believe the urban legend that its true meaning is about smoking marijuana. Anyway you try to look at it, it's about the loss of innocence, and a great little song.

Like little Jackie Paper, as we grow up we lose a bit of the wonder of childhood. Simple joys give way to more complex ruminations. Maybe we should just stop worrying and embrace the nonsense.

Will Spielberg Direct a Movie About Moses?

2012-01-25T23:16:00.001-05:00

Here's a news item that really sparks my interest -- Deadline.com is reporting that Steven Spielberg is on the verge of signing up with Warner Bros. to direct a "realistic" movie about the life of Moses. The pitch seems to be that it will be closer to Braveheart than to Cecil B. DeMille's classic The Ten Commandments.

Personally, if they’re striving for realism, I hope they try to do it in the original languages — Hebrew and Egyptian — instead of English. That would be interesting and feel more historically accurate.

There will be an uproar if they strive too far from the story told in the Book of Exodus, but it will be fascinating if they avoid over-the-top flashy special effects and tell the legendary tale in a straight-forward manner. They still have to keep the basics of the story and the dramatic high points -- Moses having a spiritual epiphany on Mount Sinai, the plagues that made Pharaoh release the enslaved Israelites, the crossing of the Red Sea, and so on --but it would be great to see it all done in a believable manner instead of through distracting computer-generated-imaging.

A gritty, realistic depiction of the story would be a great, fresh way to retell the life of Moses faithfully and respectfully, and I'm sure it would be a rousing bit of entertainment as well.

Spielberg has just finished filming Lincoln and will jump on his adaptation of Robopocalypse next. I look forward to his Moses biopic, which Deadline.com says has the working title Gods and Kings. Can't wait!

Oscar Nomination Snubs

2012-01-24T23:27:00.001-05:00

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced this year's Oscar nominations, and there will be many great races for the prestigious film award in various categories, but many worthy names and titles were left out. Hundreds of movies are released each year with countless actors and production staff but only a limited number of Academy Award slots, so snubs are part of the game. It doesn't make it any less annoying when those who are deserving of recognition are ignored, so we rightfully raise our voices to draw some attention to them.

First and foremost, I still oppose the expansion of the Best Picture category. They had added more chances for more movies to compete, under the explanation that it would give more popular flicks that deserved accolades the opportunity to be in the running for the big prize (and to arguably draw higher TV ratings by audiences rooting for blockbuster films to win it all). They changed the rule again -- instead of 10 nominations (versus the original five), the Academy deemed that "between five and ten" titles could be chosen. So this year they nominated 9 movies for Best Motion Picture. Would it have killed them to add Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two to that list?

As with the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Harry Potter saga was an amazing cinematic achievement, and the final chapter received critical praise in addition to box office success. If not the greatest film of the year, it should have at least received a nomination as one of the top ten best movies of 2011. (My wife disagrees with me -- she said tonight during dinner that "it was a good movie, but not Oscar worthy.") If it didn't live up to the high standards of the Academy for whatever reason, how about a nod for some of the actors, especially Alan Rickman who was outstanding as Professor Severus Snape?

If we're talking about actors, the biggest snub has to be towards Michael Fassbender. He was terrific as Magneto in the under-rated X-Men: First Class (which deserved a Special Effects nomination if nothing else), but also generated rave reviews in Shame. Not nominating him for his portrayal of the sex addict Brandon Sullivan was, well, shameful.

When will Andy Serkis be nominated for some of his incredible work bringing motion-captured computer-generated characters to life, which he did once again as Caesar the intelligent simian in Rise of the Planet of the Apes? I also think Kenneth Branaugh did an amazing job directing Thor; and J.J. Abrams' Super 8 merited some Oscar love as well. All of those were science fiction and fantasy films, which always face an uphill battle getting the Academy to take them seriously. Still, there were some great stories told in the genre, such as in Source Code and In Time, that I think should have earned some screenwriting praise.

Don't get me started about The Forgiveness of Blood, which was robbed in so many ways from even being considered for a nomination for Best Foreign Language Film. Hopefully people will still hunt for it and see it on the big screen, judging for themselves how great it is.

Everyone has an opinion, so there are obviously many others. Which ones do you think were unjustly ignored?

What Kind of Sports Fan Am I?

2012-01-23T22:13:00.000-05:00

Baseball is my sport of choice, and the Yankees are the team I'm fanatical about. Yet, Sunday night I was on the edge of my seat rooting for the New York Giants football team and cheering like a psycho when they beat the San Francisco 49ers in overtime. I'm a diehard Major League Baseball fan and a casual follower of pretty much all other sports, but when local teams get hot, it grabs my attention and I start investing more of my emotions in their ultimate outcomes.

I've written before about whether or not that classifies me as a bandwagon-jumper, and it probably does. If the Jets were going to the Super Bowl, I'd be rooting for them too. If the New York Knicks (or the soon-to-be Brooklynized Nets) ever make it to the NBA Finals, I'll most likely be cheering them on to victory as well.

When it comes to the Yankees, I'm with them through thick and thin, but other teams and other sports I just follow when it's a good story, when it becomes exciting. Does that make me a frontrunner or am I still allowed to join the real fans during their teams' hot streaks, since I make no pretense about my loyalty? Should I bite my tongue during those pivotal games and not cheer even though I get caught up in the moment?

Whatever the answer, I hope the Giants can beat the Patriots again during the Big Game in a couple of weeks. (And I'm still counting the days until the Yankees' Spring Training begins.)

Best TV Show Opening Narrations

2012-01-22T20:31:00.002-05:00

I've written about best TV theme songs (Parts One and Two have been very popular, so Part Three will be on the way, and I'll also look at instrumental theme music someday soon), but now it's time to applaud those famous non-musical openings where spoken-word narration set the tone for the episode to follow. Here are my choices for the greatest:

The Adventures of Superman - "Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! (Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!) Yes, it's Superman, strange visitor from another planet, who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men! Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way!"

The A-Team - "In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team."

Charlie's Angels - "Once upon a time there were three little girls who went to the police academy, (two in Los Angeles, one in San Francisco). They were assigned very hazardous duties. But I took them away from all that, and now they work for me. My name is Charlie."

Dragnet - "(Ladies and gentlemen:) the story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."

Hart to Hart - "This is my boss, Jonathan Hart - a self-made millionaire. He's quite a guy. This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous. She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself. By the way, my name is Max. I take care of both of them, which ain't easy; 'cause when they met... it was murder!"

The Incredible Hulk - "Dr. David Banner, physician/scientist, searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have. Then an accidental overdose of gamma radiation alters his body chemistry. And now, whenever he grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs. The creature is driven by rage and pursued by an investigative reporter. ("Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.") The creature is wanted for a murder he didn't commit. Dr. Banner is believed to be dead, and he must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him."

Knight Rider - "Knight Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. Michael Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law."

The Odd Couple - "On November 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence; that request came from his wife. Deep down, he knew she was right, but he also knew that some day he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his childhood friend, Oscar Madison. Several years earlier, Madison's wife had thrown him out, requesting that he never return. Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?"

The Outer Limits - "There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your television set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to — The Outer Limits."

Quantum Leap - "Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so, Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home."

The Six Million Dollar Man - "Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster."

Star Trek - "Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before."

Tales from the Dark Side - "Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But, there is, unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real, but not as brightly lit... a Darkside."

The Twilight Zone - "You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Twilight Zone!"

What other shows do you love with great opening narrations? Let me know.

Abbreviating Shakespeare

2012-01-21T22:37:00.002-05:00

I went to see Red Monkey Theater's excellent abridged version of Hamlet at Center Stage Playhouse's new space. It was a fast moving 1 hour and 40 minutes (no intermission). The cast was spectacular -- Lawrence J. Reina, Ed Friedman, Elizabeth Mialaret, Holland Renton, David Ryan, Elliott Robinson, Charles Scattamachia, Lisa Spielman, Craig Campanaro, and Gwendolyn Wiegold, all bringing something both new and familiar to these timeless characters. Tal Aviezer was in top form in the lead role and as director, delivering some fresh and thoughtful choices to one of William Shakespeare's most popular tragedies.

Tal took the time to answer some of my questions about the abbreviated version of Hamlet.

Nick Leshi - What's the usual average running time for the unabridged version? Is Hamlet really Shakespeare's longest play?

Tal Aviezer - Unabridged performances of Hamlet typically run about 4 hours. Hamlet is indeed the longest Shakespeare play (second longest is Coriolanus). The role of Hamlet also has more lines than any character in Shakespeare (unless you count ALL of Hal’s lines from Henry IV Part 1, Henry IV Part 2, and Henry V).

NL - What was your criteria for what to cut/condense?

TA - In considering what to cut, I looked both at what I saw as essential to the spine of the story, and also gave consideration to the expectations of the audience. I had to carefully consider each excision. For example, I cut the whole opening scene of the play, where Horatio and the watchmen encounter the ghost on the battlements. This delays the first appearance of the ghost until Hamlet sees him. The story of Horatio’s first meeting with the ghost is recapitulated in scene 2 regardless, and since imagination is always the theater’s most powerful tool, this allows the idea of the ghost to germinate in the mind of the audience, and for tension to build in them as it does in Hamlet until we finally encounter the ghost together with him.

I cut the entirety of the Fortinbras subplot, including the ambassadors to Norway. In any production of Hamlet I have seen in which these characters were cut, I have never missed them. They do give us a sense of scope, and a larger world beyond the boundaries of the play, and also of Claudius's skill, or lack thereof, as a head of state, but on the whole I think they can be safely dispensed with without losing anything we love about this play. Notably, this included cutting one of Hamlet’s “Big 5” monologues, “How all occasions do inform against me”, which in any case I view as largely an echo of “What a rogue and peasant slave am I."

I cut Polonius’s interview with Reynaldo, which is a scene that I personally always enjoy both for its comedy and for its insight into the character of Polonius and the atmosphere of the court. In the end I felt it was disposable in the interest of moving the story forward.

A confession that may surprise some is that I considered cutting "To Be Or Not To Be." While among the most famous and beautiful speeches in the play, I also think it is both larger and somewhat outside of the play (the shoe certainly fits the character of Hamlet, but there is something so universal about the speech that it is almost impersonal). It does nothing to move the story forward at all. However, here I felt I needed to bear in mind the expectations of the audience, some of whom were coming to see perhaps their favorite play. If I go see Cats, I expect “Memories” to be sung. So "To Be Or Not To Be" stayed in, though I did place it at a different point in the play.

I also did NOT cut a few things that often do get cut. A lot of Hamlet’s interactions with the players are intact, as this for me was something very close to the heart of the play. You often see much of that material cut in productions of Hamlet.

NL - When you've edited and adapted Shakespeare plays in the past, what has some of your feedback been from both actors and audience?

TA - Regarding feedback on cuts I’ve made in the past, only once in 13 seasons have I had an audience member complain that I had cut too much out of a play. Actors of course are a different story, especially if their own lines have been taken out! I have had several occasions where actors have tried to argue their lines back into a play; I always at least listen to their concerns, and sometimes there can be a compromise.

NL - I recall one of my old high school teachers coming to one of my plays, I think it was A Midsummer Night's Dream -- he sat in the front row with BOOK IN HAND following along! I thought that was absurdity to the extreme -- I can't imagine anyone enjoying a live theatrical performance that way. I talked to him after the show and he said he liked to follow along to see what changes were made to the text.

TA - Over the years I have many times seen audience members bring copies of plays with them to the theater, especially Shakespeare. Some read along because they are hard of hearing, others consult published editions for help in unraveling some of the language (though I’m a firm believer that the latter should be unnecessary if the play’s done well). For others, bringing the full text and following along to see what the director has cut or how the actors choose to handle certain lines is just part of their enjoyment of Shakespeare.

NL - We're seing more and more live theater do away with intermissions altogether. Forget the days of Three Acts, now even Two Acts are starting to be phased out. During Shakespeare's time, how did the Five Act structure work? Were there noticable breaks between each act or did they just barrel through the whole play uninterrupted? Was the Five Act structure just for storytelling purposes like the refined Three-Act-structure? Do you think we lose any of those storytelling beats in this age of intermissionless One-Acts?

TA - Regarding the intermission: as a general rule, I hate them as a director, as an actor, and usually as an audience member, unless the play is VERY long. They basically exist to sell concessions, which is a financial necessity in some theaters. But if you went to see a two-hour-and-twenty minute movie, you would not expect an intermission; why then does a play of the same length need one? I also think it’s again a matter of knowing the expectations of your audience. I think our show, though only one hour and forty minutes, is a fully-realized, “whole” Hamlet, while at the same time suiting the needs of some of the venues on the tour that require a shorter performance.

The five-act structure of Shakespeare’s plays is an artificial imposition placed on them by his earliest publishers; there is no evidence to suggest he thought of them in five acts, and we have no idea where and how often intermissions were placed in the Elizabethan theater. We have textual evidence that suggests that even then cuts were made, for political and other reasons. The chorus of Romeo and Juliet, for example, describes the play as being “this two hour’s traffic of our stage." Even if the verse is spoken at a blistering pace, it is difficult to imagine how any company in any period could get through an uncut production of Romeo and Juliet in less than three hours. We do know that performances at the original Globe Theater had a somewhat carnival atmosphere, and included side attractions like bear-baiting in addition to the plays. But, you know, no original cast recordings exist!

In addition to the performances at Center Stage Playhouse in the French Family Auditorium of Mercy College in the Bronx, this was a touring production of Hamlet with shows at St. Paul's Church National Historic Site in Mount Vernon, Larchmont Temple in Larchmont, and coming up, Bendheim Performing Arts Center in Scarsdale, and Rochambeau School in White Plains. For more information, please visit RedMonkeyTheater.org.

Defending Angry Birds

2012-01-20T16:03:00.000-05:00

You think the birds are angry? Fans of the enormously popular mobile app videogame Angry Birds have been furiously protesting the negative reviews of their beloved pastime that guest blogger Robert posted on my online journal City of Kik. They disagreed with the low grade he gave in his reviews of iPad games and they were ready to riot when he threw gasoline in the fire with his follow-up essay stressing once again why he hated the game. I had to see what all the fuss was about, so I downloaded it on my Android touchscreen smartphone. Final verdict -- I love it!

I can see why so many people adore this game. Contrary to Robert's critiques that it's boring and repetitive, I find each new level to be fun and imaginative. The graphics are excellent for a free game and the advertisements aren't that intrusive (unlike other freebies out there). There's a wide variety of different birds -- some have a turbo boost, others drop destructive eggs, still others split in three or explode upon impact. The multiple levels have interesting layouts and themes: "Poached Eggs," "Mighty Hoax," "Danger Above," "The Big Setup," "Ham 'Em High," "Mine and Dine," and "Birdday Party." There are a lot of hidden "Golden Eggs" throughout the game that unlock even more cool puzzles and levels.

Robert mocks the game's overall plot, but the storyline is intriguing -- a variety of multi-colored and multi-shaped birds seek revenge against some villainous green swine who stole their eggs. It's so popular that more spin-offs were released. Angry Birds Seasons 2011 features "Moon Festival," "Summer Picnic," "Easter Eggs," "Go Green, Get Lucky," "Hogs and Kisses," "Season's Greedings," and "Trick or Treat." Angry Birds Seasons 2012 includes "Wreck the Halls" and "Ham'o'ween." For those of you who don't like destroying pigs, no matter how evil they may be, Angry Birds Rio has a different objective -- save stolen birds from their cages in South America. The levels include "Smugglers' Den," "Jungle Escape," "Beach Volley," "Carnival Upheaval," "Airfield Chase," and "Smugglers' Plane." And it's all free!

More is on the way. Angry Birds Year of the Dragon is scheduled to be released soon. In addition to all the merchandise already out there, the game's creators are also hoping to cash in with a possible TV show and movie.

The greatest critics of all, my wife and daughter, can't get enough of Angry Birds. I think they love it more than I do. So Robert's anti-Angry-Birds-crusade will be a lonely one, since it seems that the majority of the population is on the Birds' side. But wait, there's more -- rumor has it that they might be developing yet another game, this one from the point of view of those dastardly (and misunderstood?) pigs. Will that be what turns Robert's frown upside down?

Remembering the Superheroes of Archie Comics

2012-01-19T23:02:00.000-05:00

During one of my mom's frequent top-to-bottom housecleaning adventures, she came across a nostalgic keepsake from my childhood, tucked away for years on a bookshelf or in the back of a closet somewhere or maybe in the attic or basement. It didn't matter to me where she found it, I was just thrilled when she presented it to me one morning this week when I brought my daughter over for her to kindly babysit -- it was a copy of Super Hero Comics Digest Magazine #2, which I read from cover to cover countless times as a kid. Although I favored the more mainstream DC Comics and Marvel Comics, the digest was published by Archie Comics.

Looking at it now, dog-eared after many page-turning days and nights from my youth, but still in good condition, it brought back fond memories. Archie Comics were known to me as "the funnies," not the more serious adventures of good vs. evil in the DC and Marvel universes. (Yes, for a nine-year-old kid, those stories were very serious indeed.) Still, this digest was a collection of different heroes -- the Black Hood (who resembled Lee Majors a bit during his Six Million Dollar Man heyday), the patriotic Shield (who seemed to be a total rip-off of Captain America, but I later discovered was first published more than a year earlier than Marvel's supersoldier), and the mysterious Fox.

Later in life I learned that these heroes were actually created during the Golden Age of comics under the banner of MLJ Magazines, which preceded Archie Comics. Eventually, the characters would fall under the ownership of DC, part of its complex "infinite planets" continuity. Steel Sterling, the Fly, the Web -- to my juvenile eyes and imagination, these were terrific heroes.

The digest had a mix of genres from the gothic horror story "The Ultimate Power" to the vampire science fiction tale "Time Twist" to the mythic parable "The Beast in the Forest," but the superhero tales were my favorites, such as Hangman and the Jaguar.

Even the typically silly folks at Riverdale High became superheroic in the pages of this digest -- Archie was Pureheart the Powerful, Betty was Superteen, Jughead was Captain Hero, Reggie was Evilheart, Veronica was Miss Vanity, and Moose was Mighty Moose.

Even though some of my other comics were lost forever, I'm glad some of them still survived, if for nothing else than the joyful memories they uncover all these years later of those childhood moments spent escaping into the imaginary world of superheroes.

The Shattering of My Faith in the Goodness of Humanity

2012-01-19T00:10:00.001-05:00

Someone criminal bastard broke into my car Wednesday night and stole my GPS. The passenger side window wasn't the only thing that was shattered -- a bit of my faith in the goodness of my fellow man also was demolished tonight. In all my years as a Bronx resident, I've never been a victim of vandalism, let alone theft, so I've skipped through life with rose-colored glasses (okay, contact lenses), always seeing the good in people and not the bad.

Initially when it dawned on me that I'd been robbed, I was furious, but a strange serenity has come over me and I've been surprisingly calm ever since. Thank goodness my insurance covers the minimal damage. Maybe that's why those vile cretins think what they're doing is easy money and not such a morally reprehensible act. I guess I was naive to park on the street instead of in the garage, and I was doubley-tripley-quadrupley clueless to leave my GPS device in my glove compartment, but you live and learn. And as these thoughts ran through my head, I chastised myself for finding ways to blame myself instead of blaming the lowlifes who did this. Yes, it's just a material loss, but my always vivid imagination started dreaming of taking an aluminum baseball bat to the criminal's own property to see how they'd like it. All of this, again, was dancing through my head in the most calm, peaceful, relaxed manner.

Rather than wish death upon the lawbreaker, rather than be stressed out or emotionally distraught over what happened, I'm aware that it could have been worse. They didn't steal my car, nothing of sentimental value was taken, no one was hurt. Instead, I'm peacefully reflective. I'm imagining who this lone vandal is or whether it's a gang of hoodlums. My mind is filled with ideas of karma, the notion that people are eventually rewarded or punished based on their actions, either in this life or the next. Is that superstitious mumbo-jumbo that our collective human psyche comes up with to make us feel better when not-so-nice things happen to us? All I know is that while I'm having these philosophical contemplations, some losers out there made some cash by smashing my car window and stealing something I bought with my hard-earned money. While I spend my precious time tomorrow fixing the damage they did, without any remorse on their part, they'll be out spending their ill-gained money and likely planning to break the law again at the expense of some other unsuspecting person.

Tomorrow, I'll return to my regularly scheduled blog posts. Until then, I sit back and ponder a world a little less kind, a little less gentle than the one I had always pretended it to be.

Character Actor Michael Ironside

2012-01-17T22:52:00.000-05:00

While some actors dream of leading roles, many would be lucky to have the broad career of character actor Michael Ironside who has over 200 film and television credits playing villains, anti-heroes, and quirky roles that are always great to watch. My wife and I liked his recent portrayal of the wickedly magical Margolin in the two-part episode "The Most Evil Sorceror" in R.L. Stine's The Haunting Hour. He knows how to chew the scenery while still making the character multi-faceted. He can scare viewers to death and then grab you with a surprisingly heartfelt tender moment.

The first time I remember seeing Ironside in a project was in V: The Final Battle when he played the gritty mercenary turned Earth's defender, Ham Tyler. He would appear in many memorable roles after that -- Captain Oliver Hudson in SeaQuest 2032, Jean Rasczak in Starship Troopers, General Ashdown in Terminator Salvation, and General Sam Lane in Smallville.

From his early work in Scanners to his later appearances in Total Recall and his recent voicework as the supervillain Darksied in the Justice League cartoon, his presence always makes fans breathe a sigh of relief because they know that he'll bring unbridled enthusiasm, energy, and emotional dedication to every acting job he undertakes.

Web Sites to Protest Against Proposed Legislation

2012-01-16T23:31:00.000-05:00

We interrupt our usual pop culture fluff to talk about a serious issue that hopefully will finally get the attention it deserves. Wikipedia joined a growing list of Web sites that announced they would "go dark" on Wednesday, January 18, 2012, to protest proposed bills that aim to battle copyright infringement, but might also threaten the very existence of the free Internet upon which we have come to depend.

Congress has two bills in the works -- the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) by the House of Representatives and the Protect Intellectual Property Act (PIPA) by the Senate -- which both have good intentions to combat cyber-piracy, but also unfortunately enable the shutting down of Web sites if any user posts contested content.

YouTube, Wikipedia, Reddit, Mozilla, WordPress, and many other sites rightfully fear the potential abuse of such power. In addition to possible government censorship, it also grants big corporations the legal power to go so far as to quell virtually any user-generated content or online conversations about their brands or properties that might up until now have been considered fair use.

Is Wikipedia's participation in the protest misguided? (Read Paul Levinson's blog, Infinite Regress, for a strong criticism against shutting down its service for 24 hours.) Or is Wikipedia's announced action a necessary move in the face of what has up until now been relative silence on the issue by most of the mainstream media (who happen to be owned my major conglomerates that lobbied for the legislation in the first place)?

If sites like Wikipedia matter to you, it's time to pay attention and fight to keep the Internet free.

Rooting for a Reunion of the Original Guns N' Roses

2012-01-15T22:38:00.000-05:00

On April 14, 2012, Guns N' Roses will be inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Might this be an opportunity for some of the original bandmembers to reunite?

The band originally consisted of vocalist Axl Rose, lead guitarist Slash, rhythm guitarist Izzy Stradlin, bassist Duff McKagan, and drummer Steven Adler. Their albums Appetite for Destruction and G N' R Lies are credited by many for "saving" rock music after the rise of disco and pop. Matt Sorum replaced Adler on the amazing double-album Use Your Illusion I and II.

Many reasons led to the break-up of the original band. Izzy quit and was replaced by Gilby Clarke whom Axl would later unceremoniously fire without consulting the rest of his bandmates. Guns N' Roses' next album, The Spaghetti Incident?, was a critical and commercial disappointment, and it included a controversial cover track of a song written by the infamous Charles Manson. After recording a cover version of The Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil" with Paul Huge on rhythm guitar for the movie Interview with the Vampire, Slash quit and was replaced by Robin Finck. Axl Rose then fired Sorum and eventually Duff left the band too, leaving Axl as the sole original member.

Although the band never officially "broke up," the new version of Guns N' Roses (Axl Rose, Ron "Bumblefoot" Thal, DJ Ashba, Richard Fortus, Tommy Stinson, Frank Ferrer, Dizzy Reed, and Chris Pitman -- and others, including Brian "Buckethead" Carroll) has been viewed by some fans as a pale imitation of what it was. The long-awaited new album Chinese Democracy was welcomed enthusuastically by many loyal fans, but failed to meet industry sales expectations.

The other original G N' R musicians have moved on to other things in their careers, including solo albums. Slash, Duff, and Sorum formed the supergroup Velvet Revolver with Scott Weiland and Dave Kushner.

I think the personality clashes might never allow the original Guns N' Roses to reunite longterm, but it would be nice to see them all get together on stage at least one more time for a song or two. Stranger things have happened.

A Day Trip to Mohegan Sun

2012-01-14T23:25:00.001-05:00

My family and I went to Mohegan Sun in Uncasville, Connecticut, to celebrate a milestone birthday for my mother. A great time was had by all!

It's such a beautiful place. Above is a picture of my lovely wife in front of a stunning Chihuly sculpture in the middle of the casino.

Mohegan Sun describes itself as a "destination for casino excitement surrounded by top entertainment, gourmet dining, premier shopping, luxury hotel, spa and pool." It lived up to the hype. If you're looking for responsible gambling or just a great escape with friends and family, it's a good place to go.

Happy birthday, Mom! We love you!

Green Arrow Drama Coming to TV

2012-01-13T21:37:00.000-05:00

The CW is still trying to find another super-successful show to recapture the ratings gold of its decade-long hit Smallville. It might take a chance on Green Arrow. Deadline Hollywood reports that the tiny network is close to ordering a pilot for the sharpshooting emerald-clad crimefighter. The CW currently has a lineup of Supernatural, Ringer, The Secret Circle, The Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girl, Nikita, America's Next Top Model, One Tree Hill, Hart of Dixie, and 90210. It can use a blockbuster that can attract a broader demographic range of viewers, as Smallville did.

But what version of Green Arrow will the CW show give us? It will allegedly be called simply Arrow and not be bound by the comic book. The character also appeared (and was very popular) on Smallville, but apparently this won't be a spin-off, despite some fans hoping to see actor Justin Hartley reprise the role. It won't be associated in anyway with the Green Arrow script Super Max that has generated some buzz over the years, but never made it to the silver screen. It will be a brand new depiction of the bow-and-arrow-wielding hero.

Green Arrow isn't one of the top superheroes in DC Entertainment's roster compared to some of its other superstars, but he has a loyal fan following nonetheless. He's changed over the years, starting out as a conservative-type multi-millionaire using his riches to battle evil via an assortment of inventive gadgets. He even had a sidekick named Speedy. Yes, he had many similarities to Batman, but never reached his storytelling potential until the writers made him lose his fortune and become a liberal blowhard. The best tales were when he was partnered with Green Lantern and there was a wonderful "right vs. left" dynamic as they confronted social issues together, such as racism and drug use. He even had a great cameo in Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns, standing up against the future version of Superman who was just a government tool. Will the new show have such high-reaching and exciting storylines, or will it be a watered-down disappointment?

It isn't easy making a superhero TV show. The CW (when it was the WB before merging with UPN) tried to bring Aquaman to the screen, but failed. Its shortlived Birds of Prey, featuring a trio of female heroes --Huntress, Oracle, and Black Canary -- was shortlived. Hollywood tried to bring the story of the original Robin to the small screen in a show called The Graysons, but that never happened. Let's not even talk about NBC's recent Wonder Woman fiasco that never lived to see the public light of day (except in a forced plot on Harry's Law where Erica Durance donned the costume from the never-aired pilot).

TV execs, however, aren't giving up on comic book adaptations. In addition to Green Arrow, we also have Deadman, Cloak and Dagger, Powers, and hopefully The Incredible Hulk in the works.

Can the people in charge get it right? The pessimistic news is that the makers of the recent lackluster Green Lantern movie are spearheading this new version. The optimistic news is that David Nutter, who directed the awesome Smallville pilot, will probably make the pilot for Arrow, so my fingers are crossed.

I do hope that they stick somewhat to the elements that worked in the comics instead of straying too far. I don't want to see a kid wearing the mask, I want to see a mature hero -- maybe even cast Josh Holloway who played Sawyer on Lost in the lead, as one of the readers of Deadline.com's article suggested. I think Oliver Queen can be a great hero on television -- unless they manage to screw it up.

Universal Pictures Celebrating 100 Years of Filmmaking

2012-01-12T22:56:00.000-05:00

When Carl Laemmle started Universal Pictures in 1912, I wonder what he imagined the future of the then young moviemaking business would be. He had already seen it evolve from nickelodeon novelties into a mass medium for entertainment. Did he envision sound, let alone color or 3D? Here we are now, 2012, and films have come a long way. Universal will be celebrating its centennial with a spruced up new logo. It also announced that it would be restoring a number of classics from its impressive library.

The 13 movies announced for restoration span the rich history of the studio:

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
Dracula (1931)
Dracula (Spanish version, 1931)
Frankenstein (1931)
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
Buck Privates (starring Bud Abbott and Lou Costello, 1941)
Pillow Talk (1959)
To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
The Birds (1963)
The Sting (1973)
Jaws (1975)
Out of Africa (1985)
Schindler's List (1993)

I think it's a great thing to celebrate the pillars of cinema history, and especially laudable to invest in their preservation. As long as the folks at Universal don't get any bright ideas to convert those classics into 3D monstrosities, I'm all for it. They will likely be released on Blu-Ray and hopefully toured in actual movie theaters so people can witness them first hand the way they were meant to be seen -- on the big screen.

Happy 100th birthday, Universal. Mr. Laemmle would be proud.

Broadway Week 2012

2012-01-11T21:53:00.000-05:00

We all know how expensive Broadway shows can be. Here's your chance to get two-for-one tickets to select productions during Broadway Week (January 17 to February 4, 2012).

The shows are:

Anything Goes
Chicago
Chinglish
Godspell
Jersey Boys
The Lion King
Mamma Mia!
Mary Poppins
Memphis
On a Clear Day You Can See Forever
The Phantom of the Opera
Porgy and Bess
Priscilla: Queen of the Desert
Relatively Speaking
Road to Mecca
Rock of Ages
Seminar
Sister Act
Spider-man: Turn Off the Dark
Stick Fly
Wicked

Broadway Week is produced by NYC & Company in partnership with The Broadway League, American Airlines, Amtrak, NBC and The New York Times. Click here for more details and to order tix.

Why I Love Technology

2012-01-10T23:44:00.000-05:00

This week, the Consumer Electronics Show, the world's largest consumer technology trade show, is taking place in Las Vegas. I'm a media geek and a gadget addict. I love consuming content 24/7 through multi-media. Although I readily admit that there are plenty of flaws in this digital age of ours, I will still defend all the positives wrought by our technological advancements.

I know some people take it too far and would gladly be morphed into cyborg beings if they could. I still cherish the human experience. I think there can and should be a balance between nature and the electronic realm. I enjoy movies, television, music, and the Internet, but I also love seeing and participating in live theater, having dinner with friends, visiting museums, vacationing in the Caribbean.

Just as there are those technophiles out there who overdo it, there are technophobes on the other extreme who do not appreciate the importance of technology. The use of tools is a defining feature that separates homo sapiens from other creatures on this planet, and the development of technology over the history of our species has carried us to ever greater heights. We have found ways to build marvels of engineering. We have cured diseases. We have reached the moon. Humans have shown that the gift of intelligence enables us to achieve what might seem at first to be the impossible.

Rather than define technology on a moral scale of "good" or "bad," we should view it as neutral and instead focus on how we use technology. So much information is now available at our fingertips. We can share our ideas as never before. Such progress has its pitfalls, but it also opens up so many possibilities. To deny that is to be blinded by the negatives.

Movies That Deserve a Sequel

2012-01-09T23:15:00.000-05:00

Entertainment Weekly had a cool little article about movies that were produced full of potential to become huge franchises, but plans for sequels fizzled with their miniscule box-office performance. It lists Dune, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Eragon, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Green Lantern, Godzilla, The Golden Compass, etc. My rambling mind started thinking about movies that I think actually deserved to have their stories continue in additional movies, but never did.

I already wrote about specific sequels I would like to see, but here are some more fun films (a dirty dozen in fact) that I wish might spark some additional adventures for their characters.

Daredevil - It was far from perfect, but I think this much-maligned Marvel superhero adaptation had some nice moments and laid the groundwork for more chapters in the tale of the man without fear, blind attorney by day and masked vigilante who defended Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen by night. I'd like to see to them try again, with or without Ben Affleck in the lead.

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial - There have been rumors that Steven Spielberg has contemplated bringing a new episode in his classic blockbuster to the big screen. I don't know how he would do it, but the idea is intriguing.

Galaxy Quest - Lesser comedies have sparked worthless sequels, so why not more of this outstanding, funny, and yes, endearing spoof of Star Trek? It didn't just play for cheap, easy laughs, mocking geeky fandom, it had heart. It was Tim Allen's funniest movie by far. Rather than another The Santa Clause, I'd like to see another Galaxy Quest.

The Goonies - We keep hearing that maybe, possibly, someday we might see the gang reunited for another great adventure. I won't hold my breath, but I'll still keep my fingers crossed.

Inception - Christopher Nolan gave us an amazing new world that's ripe for more stories. Hopefully, we'll have the chance to see them.

Independence Day - Again, a sequel to this huge hit is a no-brainer, which means we'll eventually see it, but I'm surprised it's taking so long.

The Mask of Zorro - Here was a fantastic action-adventure flick with terrific performances by Antonio Banderas, Anthony Hopkins, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, and it set it up for more of the same -- bring it on. (Wait, they already made a sequel to this called The Legend of Zorro? Impossible. It must have been so bad, let's just forget about it and try a real sequel, okay?)

Pulp Fiction - Quentin Tarantino's masterpiece is perfect fodder for more stories. I want to see what happens next to Jules. Samuel L. Jackson make a bazillion movies a year, I'm sure he'd find the time to do this.

Serenity - Fans of Firefly can't stop talking about how much they miss that show and how great the movie version was, they should make another film to convince the general public how great it actually is.

The Sixth Sense - What happened to little Cole Sear, the boy who could see dead people? Actually, what happened to child actor Haley Joel Osment? Make a sequel and explore the possibilities.

Time Bandits - It's an atrocity that this brilliant motion picture never inspired further sequels.

The Truman Show - Another fine, underrated film, Jim Carrey should jump back into this character's shoes as we see more of this future world that's not too far-fetched from our own.

Unbreakable - M. Night Shyamalan's career path has been disappointing, but this was another one of his better films -- a realistic look at the fantasy world of superheroes and supervillains. I wanted to see more, but instead we were given lesser films like Lady in the Water and The Happening.

It took decades for Tron to continue its tale, so I hold out hope to see the continuation of all of the above some day.

More Great TV Theme Songs

2012-01-08T23:46:00.002-05:00

About a month and a half ago I wrote an essay about the greatest TV theme songs. Even though I listed over twenty of them, many of you recommended even more. So here's Part Two of what might become an ongoing series of blog posts about the lost art of television show tunes. (All of these were suggested by you, the reader, so thank you, and keep 'em coming!)

Baretta - "Don't go to bed with no price on your head. Don't do it. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Keep your eye on the sparrow when the going gets narrow. Don't roll the dice if you can't pay the price. Don't do it. Don't run your feet down a dead-end street. Keep your eye on the sparrow when the going gets narrow. Don't do me dirt or you're gonna get hurt. Don't do it. Don't run away 'til you hear what I say. Keep your eye on the sparrow when the going gets narrow. Ain't gonna fight with no thief in the night. Won't do it. I'm gonna go where the cold wind don't blow. Keep your eye on the sparrow when the going gets narrow."

The Fall Guy - "Well, I'm not the kind to kiss and tell, but I've been seen with Farrah. I'm never seen with anything less than a nine, so fine. I've been on fire with Sally Field, gone fast with a girl named Bo, but somehow they just don't end up as mine. It's a death defyin' life I lead, I take my chances. I die for a livin' in the movies and TV. But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leadin' ladies kiss some other guy while I'm bandagin' my knee. I might fall from a tall building, I might roll a brand new car. 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star. I never spend much time in school but I taught ladies plenty. It's true I hire my body out for pay, hey hey. I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs, blown up for Raquel Welch. But when I end up in the hay it's only hay, hey hey. I might jump an open drawbridge, or Tarzan from a vine. 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine."

Family Guy - "It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV. But where are those good old fashion values on which we used to rely? Lucky theres a family guy! Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us laugh and cry! He's a Family Guy!"

Family Ties - "I bet we been together for a million years, and I bet we'll be together for a million more. Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed, and I can't remember what I ever did before. What would we do baby without us? What would we do baby without us? And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through. What would we do baby without us? Sha la la la."

Frasier - "Hey baby, I hear the blues a-callin', tossed salad and scrambled eggs. Oh my. Mercy. And maybe I seem a bit confused, yeah maybe, but I got you pegged! Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha! But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs. They're callin' again. Good night, Seattle, we love you. What is a boy to do. Good night. Frasier has left the building. Thank You!"

Friends - "So no one told you life was going to be this way. Your job's a joke, you're broke, you're love life's DOA. It's like you're always stuck in second gear. Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year. But, I'll be there for you when the rain starts to pour. I'll be there for you like I've been there before. I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too."

Have Gun Will Travel - "Have Gun Will Travel reads the card of a man. A knight without armor in a savage land. His fast gun for hire heads the calling wind. A soldier of fortune is the man called Paladin. Paladin, Paladin, where do you roam? Paladin, Paladin, far, far from home. He travels onto wherever he must. A chess knight of silver is his badge of trust. There are campfire legends that plains men spin of the man with the gun, of the man called Paladin. Paladin, Paladin, where do you roam? Paladin, Paladin, far, far from home. Far from home, far from home."

Here Come the Brides - "The bluest sky you've ever seen in Seattle. And the hills the greenest green in Seattle. Like a beautiful child growing up free and wild. Full of hopes and full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears, full of dreams to last a year in Seattle. When you find your own true love you will know it by his smile, by the look in his eyes. Some scent pine trees in the air or some stand around and stare. Look out everyone, here come the brides."

Maude - "Lady Godiva was a freedom rider. She didnt' care if the whole world looked. Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her. She was a sister who really cooked. Isadora was the first bra burner and you're glad she showed up. (Oh yeah) And when the country was falling apart Betsy Ross got it all sewed up. And then there's Maude. And then there's Maude. And then there's Maude. And then there's Maude. And then there's Maude. And then there's Maude. And then there's that old compromisin', enterprisin', anything but tranquilizing, right on Maude."

Mister Ed - "A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse of course. That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mister Ed. Go right to the source and ask the horse. He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse. He's always on a steady course. Talk to Mister Ed. People yakkity-yak the street and waste your time of day, but Mister Ed will never speak unless he has something to say. A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and this one'll talk 'til his voice is hoarse. You never heard of a talking horse? Well listen to this: 'I'm Mister Ed.'"

The Nanny - "She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens, 'til her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes. What was she to do, where was she to go? She was out on her fanny. So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door, she was there to sell make-up but the father saw more. She had style, she had flair, she was there. That's how she became the Nanny. Who would have guessed that the girl we described was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? Now, the father finds her beguiling, watch out C.C., the kids are actually smiling, such joie de vivre. She's the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan. The flashy girl from Flushing, the Nanny named Fran."

The Patty Duke Show - "Meet Cathy who's lived most everywhere, from Zanzibar to Barclay Square. But Patty's only seen the sight a girl can see from Brooklyn Heights -- What a crazy pair! But they're cousins, identical cousins all the way. One pair of matching bookends, different as night and day. Where Cathy adores a minuet, The Ballet Russes, and crepe suzette, our Patty loves to rock and roll, a hot dog makes her lose control -- What a wild duet! Still, they're cousins, identical cousins, and you'll find, they laugh alike, they walk alike, at times they even talk alike -- You can lose your mind when cousins are two of a kind."

Rawhide - "Rollin', rollin', rollin', keep movin', movin', movin', though they're disapprovin', keep them doggies movin' -- Rawhide! Don't try to understand 'em, just rope and throw and grab 'em, soon we'll be living high and wide. Boy my heart's calculatin'. My true love will be waitin', be waiting at the end of my ride. Move 'em on, head 'em up, head 'em up, move 'em out, move 'em on, head 'em out -- Rawhide! Set 'em out, ride 'em in, ride 'em in, let 'em out, cut 'em out, ride 'em in -- Rawhide! Rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin' -- Rawhide! Rollin', rollin', rollin', though the streams are swollen, keep them doggies rollin' -- Rawhide! Rain and wind and weather, hell-bent for leather, wishin' my gal was by my side. All the things I'm missin', good vittles, love, and kissin', are waiting at the end of my ride."

South Park - "I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time, friendly faces everwhere, humble folks without temptation, I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind. Ample parking day or night, people spouting, 'Howdy, Neighbor!' I'm headin' down to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind. (Mumble mumble mumble mumble, mumble mumble mumble mumble.) So come on down to South Park, and meet some friends of mine."

Spongebob Squarepants - "Are ya ready kids? Aye Aye, Captain! I can't hear you! Aye Aye, Captain!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants! Absorbent and yellow and porous is he. Spongebob Squarepants! If nautical nonsense be somethin' you wish. Spongebob Squarepants! Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish! Spongebob Squarepants! Ready? Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepaaaaaaaaants! Argh, argh, argh, argh, argh!"

Three's Company - "Come and knock on our door. We've been waiting for you, where the kisses are hers and hers and his, three's company too. Come and dance on on our floor. Take a step that is new. We've a loveable space that needs your face, three's company too. You'll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you. Down at our rendezvous, three's company, too!"

Stay tuned for Part Three, and let me know of any others that come to mind.

Milking 3D for All It's Worth

2012-01-07T14:56:00.000-05:00

Hollywood still has faith in 3D, not just brand new movies (either shot in 3D or converted to 3D in post-production) but also digging through their catalog of older hit movies and releasing them again with a 3D makeover.

After The Lion King earned another whopping $94,000,000, Hollywood studios are examining their libraries to see what other films might live again with some 3D pixie-dust sprinkled upon them.

This year (2012) will see a few that have a pretty good shot of raking in some more dough -- Beauty and the Beast in January, Star Wars: The Phantom Menace in February, Titanic in April, and Finding Nemo in September.

If those work, be assured that more will follow. Disney is already prepping Monsters Inc. and The Little Mermaid, and George Lucas has already stated that the rest of his Star Wars saga will receive similar treatment. (I guess he failed to heed my anti-3D advice.)

What other existing films might be suitable for the 3D revamp? Reuters and Hollywood Reporter are just two media outlets speculating. Some guesses include Top Gun, Ghostbusters, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, Jurassic Park, Aladdin, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Jaws, Independence Day, Back to the Future, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and even Inception (although director Christopher Nolan has been a very vocal opponent of the 3D trend).

Maybe this 3D trend will be around longer than I had hoped. The sad thing is that now 3D technology is digging its claws into the beloved classics of yesteryear. Is nothing sacred?

The Child Vampire Cliche

2012-01-06T16:34:00.000-05:00

My wife and I caught a bit of the excellent movie Let Me In last night. It's an adaptation of the Swedish novel Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist. A Swedish movie was made in 2008. While the American version switches the location from Sweden to New Mexico, it still remains a faithful adaptation of the emotional story of a boy's friendship with a young girl who happens to be a vampire. Abby, played brilliantly by Chloe Grace Moretz, is a chilling but sympathetic character, turning from an innocent, angelic kid into a brutal, feral monster. Vampires are an overused fantasy and horror cliche, and while showing children as vampires is not an altogether new spin on the concept, Lindqvist manages to look at it in an intelligent and provocative way.

Others have done it before, of course. Stephen King imagined the horrific sounds of babies sucking blood instead of milk and formula in his novel 'Salem's Lot (one of his best). The story was adapted in 1979, directed by Tobe Hooper and starring David Soul, and then remade in 2004, starring Rob Lowe. (There was even a sequel called A Return to Salem's Lot in 1987, starring Michael Moriarity.) One of the more creepy visuals from that original TV miniseries adaptation that I remember was the sight of a little boy vampire floating outside a window, scratching on the glass pane to be allowed entrance.

The Lost Boys in 1987 also examined the idea of young people as soulless vampires, their dreams of eternal youth (sleeping all day, partying all night, never getting older, never dying) coming with a price. Corey Haim and Corey Feldman played young vampire hunters, trying to save Jason Patric's character from the seduction of a teenage gang of bloodsuckers, played wonderfully by Kiefer Sutherland, Alex Winter, and Jami Gertz.

Anne Rice arguably did the finest job of fleshing out the idea of an immortal being trapped in an ageless child's body in her first Vampire Chronicles novel, Interview with the Vampire. While the characters of Louis and Lestat were the stars (portrayed excellently in the 1994 Neil Jordan movie version by Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise), the most interesting figure in the story was little Claudia, brought to undead life by Kirsten Dunst.

There were others before, like Eddie in The Munsters. Was he a werewolf boy or a tiny vampire, or a blend of both? There will be more to come, like the half-human half-vampire child of Bella and Edward in The Twilight Saga. Can the idea be tapped further or has the stereotype been played out?

American Horror Story's Big Gamble

2012-01-05T23:46:00.000-05:00

American Horror Story had an amazing first season and quickly earned its place on my list of the best horror television series of all time. The plan for season two, however, is a big risk. Rather than continue with the same characters that fans have embraced, rather than continue in the same haunted house, rather than continue the storyline that gripped audiences and generated enormous ratings, American Horror Story will feature a whole new setting, all new characters, and a brand new plot.

It's a daring move. I was looking forward to learning more about that spooky house, seeing more of Dylan McDermott, Connie Britton, Alexandra Breckenridge, and the spectacular Jessica Lange. Instead, we'll be back to square one with a different house, different paranormal frightmares, different mysteries that will unfold during the new season.

I remember a show called Murder One that was supposed to tell a different season-long story each year, but it was cancelled quickly, never making it to season two. Even that, however, would have carried over the same cast.

If ratings drop for American Horror Story, I'm sure they'll return to the devilish L.A. mansion that was such an important character itself. They'll find a way to bring back or reference some iconic moments from the first season, like the freaky Rubber Man. Until then, enjoy Season One on DVD or Blu-Ray as a brilliant stand-alone series and keep your fingers crossed, hoping for the best in the new stories to come.

Rooting for Lou Ferrigno to Win Celebrity Apprentice

2012-01-04T23:18:00.002-05:00

The cast has been announced for the new season of Celebrity Apprentice and I'm picking Lou Ferrigno as my early favorite. Even though TV's former Incredible Hulk is over sixty years old, he's still an intimidating 6-and-a-half-foot tall muscleman who can pulverize any of those posers he's competing against. Yet, as I told my siblings and friends when I heard the news that he would be part of Donald Trump's reality show, Ferrigno is a gentle giant and might be too nice to defeat the other cutthroat challengers in the game. It will be great, however, to see if he has the business acumen to pull off a victory.

The show is best not when it displays these pseudo-celebrities showing off their rolodexes and raising the most money for each competition, but when the contestants have the opportunity to be creative and think outside the box, showcasing their entrepreneurial skills. I hope Ferrigno has that leadership potential. He's proven he can deal with adversity when he overcame his hearing impairment, becoming successful in life while making no excuses.

Here's the full list of "stars" who will be battling each other until only one is left standing (for the chance to win money for their chosen charities):

Clay Aiken - singer and American Idol runner-up

Marco Andretti - race-car driver, grandson of legend Mario Andretti, replacing his dad Michael Andretti who was originally cast, but had to leave the show

Tia Carrere - actress and singer

Adam Carolla - podcaster and former Man Show and Love Line host

Lou Ferrigno - actor and former bodybuilding champion

Deborah Gibson - entertainer, best known from her teen pop sensation days (when went by the name "Debbie")

Teresa Giudice - star of The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Victoria Gotti - author and former star of Growing Up Gotti, daughter of mob boss John Gotti

Arsenio Hall - actor, comedian, and former talk show host

Penn Jillette - illusionist and comedian

Lisa Lampanelli - comedian

Dayana Mendoza - Venezuelan entertainer and former Miss Universe

Aubrey O'Day - singer and former member of the music group Danity Kane

Dee Snider - former lead singer of the rock group Twisted Sister

George Takei - actor, best known for his role as Sulu on Star Trek

Paul Teutul Sr. - motorcycle designer and star of American Chopper

Cheryl Tiegs - actress and former supermodel

Patricia Velazquez - model and actress

Celebrity Apprentice will premiere of February 12, 2012, (that's 2/12/12) on NBC. Go, Lou! If nothing else, I hope he goes the distance and isn't one of the first to hear Mr. Trump say, "You're fired!"

The Movies of Darren Aronofsky

2012-01-03T23:39:00.000-05:00

My wife and I finally saw Black Swan the other night and it re-enforced my opinion that Darren Aronofsky is one of the best directors out there. Like his other work, the movie is full of surreal moments, amazing performances packed with raw emotion, and masterful storytelling. Natalie Portman shines as the ballerina who goes literally insane as she tries to tap her edgy, seductive side for the dual lead role in Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. There are plenty of hints that Portman's character Nina has had some issues in the past that have started to bubble to the surface under the pressure of her new role. Mila Kunis is outstanding too as Lily, perfectly playing her own duality as friend and foe. Barbara Hershey, Winona Ryder, and Vincent Cassel round out the rest of the terrific headlining cast. If you missed it in theaters, you should definitely hunt it down now. It's a powerful psychological thriller with some really fine moments.

Ever since I saw Aronofsky's Pi (back when I was working at Valley Media), I knew he was a director to watch, a filmmaker who would go on to bigger and better achievements. That low-budget, black-and-white tale centers on a mathematician named Max who suffers from intense headaches and starts believing that he has discovered the key number that unlocks the universal pattern found in nature. It features many of the signature elements that would be found in Aronofsky's future endeavors -- paranoia, obsession, dark dream-like cinematography, and of course captivating performances that long linger in viewers' memories.

His drama Requiem for a Dream explores the addictions of four characters whose lives are intertwined. Aronofsky brings out the best performances I've seen from Jared Leto, Jennifer Connolly, Ellen Burstyn, and Marlon Wayans.

He then gave us an epic science fiction story, The Fountain, starring Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz -- actually, it's an ambitious combination of three stories spanning a thousand years.

My friend Robert previously wrote about Aronofsky's more down-to-earth drama, The Wrestler, in a guest post for my blog. Again the director manages to draw out the finest in his actors, this time from Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei.

Aronofsky executive-produced another fine film, The Fighter, and is developing Hobgoblin for HBO, a series about magicians battling Hitler during World War II, and his highly anticipated big screen retelling of the biblical Noah's Ark story.

Darren Aronofsky is still in the early stages of his career. Who knows what other cinematic gems he has in store for all of us in the years to come?

Crying Armageddon

2012-01-02T22:30:00.000-05:00

You've all heard the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf." I've been thinking lately that the modern equivalent might be "The Boy Who Cried Armageddon." Here we are, 2012, and although most of us understand the silliness of the Mayan Doomsday Prophecy, some others are taking it seriously and dreading the arrival of December 21, 2012. Of course, December 22 will come around like any other day and those who fell for the "end of the world" hype will feel foolish, but the rest of us will arguably be worse off, because it will be another example of Chicken Little screaming in vain that the sky is falling.

As a kid, reading the origin of Superman, I recall thinking, "How can the Kryptonians not believe Jor-El's warnings about the impending destruction of their planet?" As the politically charged Climate Change debate has proven here in the real world, not everyone heeds scientists' dire forecasts of global catastrophe. Maybe Jor-El was a victim of living in a society with too many false prophets hollering that "The End is near!" Maybe Krypton had its own Y2K non-event, so Jor-El's efforts to save his world fell on jaded ears.

The end of our fragile orb will eventually come, whether by man-made calamity or natural termination of its planetary life cycle. Instead of worrying if it will come by a battle at Megiddo or our sun going supernova or some peculiar repurcussions from the end of the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar, we should live in the present and not take anything for granted, because, like Superman's homeworld, it might all be gone in the wink of an eye.

New Poll: Reasons for the Dip in Movie Theater Attendance

2012-01-01T22:48:00.000-05:00

Hollywood honchos are scratching their heads trying to figure out why movie theater attendance was down in 2011. Let's be more specific -- not just "down," but the worst in 16 years! There are plenty of theories and a lot of reasons that probably add up to the slump, but which one is the primary cause?

Is it the bad economy? Could it be backlash against the proliferation of higher-priced 3D films? Maybe people just feel more comfortable watching movies in the privacy of their own homes on their big screen TVs and surround-sound audio systems. It could also be that more potential moviegoers are finding their entertainment fixes elsewhere through other media, especially the Internet and videogames.

Personally, I think the biggest factor is the quality of movies. To paraphrase Field of Dreams, "if you make it, they will come," ("it" being "good movies that people want to pay money to see.")

There were some good movies in 2011 amid the piles of junk, but maybe we can argue that Hollywood didn't do a good enough job letting people know about them. Here's another wacky theory -- maybe big theater chains themselves need to do a better job marketing themselves and the moviegoing experience instead of just depending on Tinseltown to do all the promotional pushing for their titles.

What do you think? I have a new poll up, so share your opinion. If you think there's another reason that I haven't listed, please let me know by commenting below.

Meanwhile, the results of my last poll are confirmed. It was a tight race to determine which TV holiday special everyone loved the most, but How the Grinch Stole Christmas edged out A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Tune in next month to see what the most popular theory is for the decrease in movie theater attendance.

Wishing Everyone a Happy New Year

2011-12-31T17:32:00.000-05:00

As 2011 comes to an end and we look forward to what the New Year will bring, I want to thank all of you for reading my blog and for sharing your thoughts with me. I wish you all the very best in 2012! Who knows what pop culture has in store for us?

My Most Anticipated Mid-Season TV Shows

2011-12-30T15:17:00.000-05:00

After the holiday season comes to an end, television reruns and often bland holiday programming will give way to mid-season content -- brand new shows, returning favorites, the football postseason, and the peak of the entertainment awards ceremonies. Here is my summary of the shows I'm anticipating the most.

New Shows

NBC tries to bring a little "glee" to its programming schedule with Smash, a musical series about characters behind-the-scenes trying to bring a Broadway show to life, starring Debra Messing, Jack Davenport, Katharine McPhee, and Anjelica Huston.

I'm really looking forward to the new HBO drama, Luck, set in the world of horse-racing, starring the excellent Dustin Hoffman, Nick Nolte, and Dennis Farina.

Kiefer Sutherland returns to television in Touch on FOX, about a dad who discovers that his autistic son can predict the future. Danny Glover also stars.

For supernatural cheesiness, check out Syfy's Lost Girl, the adventures of a succubus, played by Anna Silk.

Another, more interesting fantasy series is the British series The Fades, about a guy who has visions of the apocalypse and sees dead people.

FOX brings us another procedural drama called The Finder, a spin-off of Bones, with Geoff Stults, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Mercedes Masohn in the leads.

The John Grisham novel and Tom Cruise movie The Firm gets a reboot in this FOX version starring Josh Lucas and Juliette Lewis.

Two of my most anticipated shows this season are The River, ABC's spooky paranormal adventure show about a missing TV explorer in the Amazon, and Alcatraz on FOX, starring Sarah Jones and Jorge Garcia.

Returning Shows

Some of my guilty pleasures are coming back -- Celebrity Apprentice on NBC, American Idol on FOX, Californication on Showtime, and the BBC's Merlin on Syfy.

Cartoons

When it comes to animated fare, there's a returning favorite and a brand new cartoon adaptation of a cult class -- Archer on FX and Napoleon Dynamite on FOX.

Award Shows

'Tis the season to hand out trophies. Starting with The People's Choice Awards, we then have Ricky Gervais hosting The Golden Globe Awards again, followed by Billy Crystal trying to save The 84th Academy Awards.

Sports

And of course, I have to mention Super Bowl XLVI. Which two NFL teams will make it to the highly-rated championship game?

Did I leave anything out? That's because I'm probably not interested in it, but if you are, feel free to let me know about it and set me straight.

The Return of Van Halen

2011-12-29T15:23:00.000-05:00

Have you heard the news? Van Halen is coming back! David Lee Roth on vocals, Eddie Van Halen on lead guitar, Alex Van Halen on drums, and Eddie's son Wolfgang Van Halen on bass guitar (he replaced original bassist Michael Anthony back in 2007) -- a new tour in 2012, an upcoming new single and video on January 10, and a brand new album on February 7. Some jaded whippersnappers may not appreciate the legacy of Van Halen, but the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Famers have been making great music (off-and-on) for forty years.

Over the decades, Van Halen has given us great lyrics ("Sleep and dream, that's all I crave"), upbeat rock tunes, and powerful ballads. To commemorate this great occassion, here is a list of my top personal favorite Van Halen songs (in alphabetical order and linked to their music video on YouTube):

"Hot for Teacher"

"Jump"

"Love Walks In"

"Panama"

"When It's Love"

"Why Can't This Be Love"

Yes, yes, I know, there are other great ones: "Runnin' with the Devil," "Dance the Night Away," "Jamie's Cryin'," "One I Want," "Dreams," "Fire in the Hole," "Poundcake," "Humans Being," "Without You," "Ice Cream Man," "Cathedral," "Ain't Talking 'Bout Love," "Spanish Fly," "1984," "Eruption," "Unchained," and "Top of the World," but the ones I listed are my own faves. Which ones are yours?

Is Anything Really New on Broadway?

2011-12-28T17:03:00.000-05:00

Broadway is starting to look a lot like Hollywood. One would think that of all the performing arts, live theater would be the best place for the expression of original ideas. Yet, as Broadway business grows bigger than ever, producers seem to be following Tinseltown's model by seeking projects that are a known quantity. Why take a gamble on an unknown story when there are enough risks with known properties. So we see more and more adaptations, sequels, revivals, tales about well-known celebrities, and retold stories of historic events.

Broadway adaptations and revivals are nothing new -- classic shows have certainly been made from pre-existing content. If we look at the Great White Way today, however, it's harder and harder to find a musical or play based on a wholly original concept. Looking at the shows set to debut in the next few months of the remaining season, all I see are more adaptations, revivals, and even a sequel.

The Columnist (play) - Here's a new play by David Auburn who wrote the wonderful Proof, but look closely -- it's based on the true story of newspaper columnist Joseph Alsop who served as an adviser to John F. Kennedy in the 1960s. Auburn will surely use powerful dramatic license to delve into Alsop's reaction to the Soviet KGB's threats to expose his secrets with compromising photos.

Death of a Salesman (play) - Arthur Miller's 1949 classic comes to life again, this time starring Philip Seymour Hoffman as Willy Loman.

Don't Dress For Dinner (play) - You thought I was kidding about a sequel? If you saw the critically acclaimed play Boeing-Boeing and were wondering what happens next, here's your chance.

End of the Rainbow (play) - This play explores the life of Judy Garland on the eve of her final series of concerts in 1968.

Evita (musical) - Andrew Lloyd Webber's fan-favorite returns with Ricky Martin playing the role of Che.

Ghost: The Musical (musical) - Eventually, every movie will be turned into a Broadway musical. This one is based on the supernatural romance thriller that starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopi Goldberg.

Gore Vidal's The Best Man (play) - I actually don't mind this timely revival of the 1962 play about a presidential primary race because it stars an amazing cast: John Larroquette, Candice Bergen, Angela Lansbury, Erik McCormack, and James Earl Jones.

Jesus Christ Superstar (musical, March 1) - I already have my tickets ordered for a preview performance of this Andrew Lloyd Webber revival. It's a critically acclaimed production that's making its highly anticipated trip to Broadway.

Magic/Bird (play) - Written by Eric Simonson based on his conversations with basketball legends Larry Bird and Earvin "Magic" Johnson, will this be a sports version of Frost/Nixon? (I kid.)

Newsies (musical) - The 1992 movie about a newsboy strike in 1899 comes to a Broadway theater in 2012.

Nice Work If You Can Get It (musical) - Here's a twist on the jukebox musical concept -- a production based on songs from the George and Ira Gershwin catalog.

Once (musical) - The 2006 movie gets the musical stage adaptation treatment.

One Man, Two Guvnors (play) - Based on the 18th century Italian comedy Servant of Two Masters by Carlo Goldoni, this updated retelling is set in the 1960s.

Rebecca (musical) - They can make a musical out of anything. This was inspired by the novel by Daphne du Maurier, which Alfred Hitchcock turned into a movie in 1940 and Hollywood remade in 1997.

A Streetcar Named Desire (play) - This is a great play by Tennessee Williams. This new revival stars an African-American cast, with Blair Underwood as Stanley and Nicole Ari Parker as Blanche.

Wit (play) - Cynthia Nixon stars in this revival of the Off-Broadway hit that was written by Margaret Edson.

Some of these look like they could be fantastic productions and I hope I have the chance to see them, but I also yearn for some truly original tales to come to life on the Broadway stage.

Mini-Mini-Stories

2011-12-27T16:02:00.000-05:00

Our fast-paced world is shortening the already short attention spans of harried people everywhere as they rush-rush-rush to squeeze as many activities into a "never-enough-time" 24-hour day as they can. As a voracious reader and writer, it wounds me to hear the common refrain from my frenzied friends, "I wish I had more time to read." To them I say, make the time -- there are plenty of leisure moments throughout our lives when the choice often is stare into the void or read something to refresh and invigorate your brain. With the growing popularity of e-readers and apps available for smartphones and tablet devices, there is almost no excuse now -- we carry and read a library of fiction and non-fiction almost everywhere we go that we can peruse as we wait in line, ride a bus or subway, kill some time awaiting the arrival of tardy colleagues, and countless other empty minutes that fill our seemingly booked-to-capacity calendars.

I came across a great book of extremely short tales called BAM! 172 Hellaciously Quick Stories. Written by Luc Reid, a Writers of the Future winner, the collection is loaded with amazing examples of speculative fiction -- magic, adventure, horror, fantasy, humor, drama, all very imaginative and thought-provoking.

If you liked my previous recommendation of short-short-story anthologies, you will definitely enjoy this compilation of even briefer yarns. Some are like fragments of grander science fiction epics, others are twee renditions of interesting ideas, all stemming from an incredibly creative mind. Each nugget is a satisfying story in its own right that takes only a few minutes to read. Even if you only have limited time, you will find yourself trying to cram as many of these gems as possible into your precious daily agenda.

For those writers out there trying to write the next great American novel, this book might inspire you to also try your hand at the short fiction artform (in this case, short-short-short fiction). You will be amazed at how many great characters and ideas can be packed in a brevity of carefully selected words presented in clear, concise, yet powerful fashion.

The Many Faces of Scrooge

2011-12-26T21:09:00.000-05:00

When I wrote that the George C. Scott version of A Christmas Carol was my favorite adaptation of Charles Dickens' classic, many agreed with me and many named other versions that they thought were even better. Alastair Sim was the top choice, but there were plenty of others too, so now, two years later, I have decided to list as many "faces" of Ebenezer Scrooge as I can. Here we go...

Tom Ricketts - 1908's silent movie A Christmas Carol, produced by Essanay Studios

Marc McDermott - 1910's short silent movie A Christmas Carol, produced by Edison

Seymour Hicks - played Scrooge twice, in the 1913 British silent film that was released in the U.S. in 1926 as Old Scrooge...

...and again in 1935 British film, Scrooge, one of the first sound movie versions of the story.

Lionel Barrymore - on the radio throughout the 1930s and 1940s

Reginald Owen - MGM's 1938 movie, directed by Edwin L. Marin

Alastair Sim - the 1951 classic by United Artists, but he also played the character again...

...as the voice of Scrooge in the 1971 ABC cartoon.

Jim Backus - as the voice of Quincy Magoo in Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol in 1962.

Albert Finney - 1970's musical film Scrooge

Rich Little - as W.C. Fields playing Scrooge in 1978's Rich Little's Christmas Carol

Walter Matthau - as the voice in 1978's The Stingiest Man in Town

Henry Winkler - in 1979's An American Christmas Carol

Alan Young - as Scrooge McDuck in 1983's Mickey's Christmas Carol

George C. Scott - in the greatest version of them all in 1984 on CBS

Bill Murray - 1988's Scrooged

Rowan Atkinson - 1988's Blackadder's Chrstmas Carol

Michael Caine - 1992's The Muppet Christmas Carol

Henry Corden - as Fred Flinstone in 1994's A Flintstones Christmas Carol

Susan Lucci - as Elizabeth "Ebbie" Scrooge in 1995's Ebbie

Tim Curry - in the 1997 cartoon

Patrick Stewart - in 1999's TV adaptation of his stage performance

Vanessa Williams - as Ebony Scrooge in 2000's A Diva's Christmas Carol

Tori Spelling - as "Scroogette" Carol Cartman in 2003's A Carol Christmas

Kelsey Grammer - Hallmark's A Christmas Carol in 2004, which aired on NBC

Joe Alskey - as Daffy Duck in 2006's Bah Humduck: A Looney Tunes Christmas

Morwenna Banks - as Barbie in 2008's Barbie in A Christmas Carol

Jim Carrey - in the 2009 3-D animated Disney movie

Think that's a lot? There are so many others -- Rupert Julian (1916), Russell Thorndike (1923), Orson Welles (on the radio in 1939), John Carradine (1947), Malcolm Keen (1947), Taylor Holmes (1949), Bransby Williams (1950), Fredric March (1954), Basil Rathbone (recordings in 1956 and 1958), Stan Freberg (in 1958's Green Chri$tma$), Cyril Ritchard(1964), Wilfred Brambell (1966), Sid James (1969), Marcel Marceau (1973), Michael Hordern (1977), Hoyt Axton (1979), Robert Guillaume (1986), Jeffrey Sanzel (on stage in 1992), James Earle Jones (1994), Cicely Tyson (1997), Jack Palance (1997), Ross Kemp (2000), Dean Jones (2001), Bill Bourne (2006), Helen Fraser (2006), and Catherine Tate (2009).

Okay, let me have it -- which ones did I miss?

A Much-Maligned But Still Beloved Christmas Song

2011-12-25T23:58:00.000-05:00

During the Christmas season, the radio airwaves are filled with yuletide tunes, some classic, some schmaltzy. One of my favorites is "Do They Know It's Christmas," recorded in 1984 by Band Aid, a collaboration of British and Irish pop stars, singing together to raise awareness for the famine in Ethiopa.

Some argue that the song is overly sentimental, but I consider the lyrics (written by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure) to be powerful, sincere, and moving. The holiday has become overly commercialized, so there's no harm in making people remember the less fortunate.

The song starts off slow, like many traditional ditties, as Paul Young sings (with dramatic bells and drums in the background), "It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid. At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade." Then Boy George jumps in with, "And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy. Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time." So far it sounds like a typical pop melody, something that Culture Club may have released.

Then it kicks into a new level, as Phil Collins of Genesis bangs the drums and George Michael of Wham! belts out, "But say a prayer, pray for the other ones at Christmas time," followed by Simon le Bon of Duran Duran, "It's hard, but when you're having fun, there's a world outside your window." Sting of The Police joins him as they tug at our heartstrings, "And it's a world of dreaded fear, where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears, and the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom."

Then Bono of U2 delivers the line that brings it up another notch: "Well, tonight thank God it's them instead of you."

Altogether now with the chorus that includes Kool and the Gang, Bananarama, David Bowie, Paul McCartney, Big Country, and others: "And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time. The greatest gift they'll get this year is life. Where nothing ever grows, no rain or rivers flow, do they know it's Christmas time at all? Here's to you, raise a glass for everyone, here's to them, underneath that burning sun, do they know it's Christmas time at all?" Then the chant -- "Feed the world, feed the world, feed the world, let them know it's Christmas time."

The song has been mocked and criticized, but it's an enduring anthem, much more beloved I would dare say than the American mega-star charity collaboration USA for Africa (which also had a noble mission to battle famine) from a year later in 1985, "We Are the World."

"Do They Know It's Christmas" inspired many other celebrity projects, including Live Aid and Farm Aid. Despite its detractors, I think it's a strong song with solid intentions. Band Aid's heart was in the right place.

Merry Christmas to All

2011-12-24T12:02:00.000-05:00

I hope each and every one of you have a wonderful holiday weekend! Let's put aside the stress and frustrations of the material world for a little while if we can and revel in the spirit of the season. I'm jumping off the grid until probably Sunday night and enjoying this festive time with my family. May all of you have a safe, healthy, and joyful Christmas!

They Don't Make Christmas Specials Like They Used To

2011-12-23T15:55:00.000-05:00

Back in 2009, I listed 12 of my all-time favorite TV Christmas specials. You know what I'm talking about: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Year Without a Santa Claus, fan-favorite How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and all the rest of the best from yesteryear. Those classics are hard to top, but Hollywood keeps trying. The recent crop of new specials have been disappointing.

I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown, which debuted in 2003, could not hope to compete with the legendary A Charlie Brown Christmas from way back in 1965. Yes, Virginia from 2009 could not capture the simple magic of Frosty the Snowman, which originally aired in 1969.

The recent crop of specials seem to be more commercial than ever, either spun-off from movies, like Shrek the Halls (2007) or this year's Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas, or based on merchandise like greeting cards (Hoops and Yo-Yo Ruin Christmas) or Hallmark toys (The Elf on a Shelf: An Elf's Story).

They seem loaded with over-sentimentality, weak stories, and uninspired characterization, like the recent Jingle All the Way, about a husky puppy looking for a home at a Christmas tree farm.

Am I just being an overly-critical, grumpy, nostalgia-loving grinch? Do the new set of holiday TV specials have some redeeming qualities that I'm missing? Or am I correct in my assumption that when it comes to Christmas specials, we've had a bit of a drought on quality shows?

MTV Dabbles in Comics

2011-12-22T23:19:00.001-05:00

MTV continues to stretch beyond its music roots. Now it's jumping into the comic book marketplace with a variety of very different titles under the brand name MTV Comics, all available digitally via Comixology. They're hit-or-miss, but it shows that MTV is trying to develop new content for its network, and comics have proven to be cheaper testing grounds for story ideas than more expensive live-action pilots. We'll see if any of these turn into successful franchises.

Agent Mom - At first, this tale of a suburban mom who leads a double life as a super-spy with powerful gadgets sounds awfully familiar. We've seen the premise before a bunch of times -- the average ordinary person who secretly goes on exciting globetrotting adventures, battling evildoers in heroic fashion -- True Lies, Chuck, etc. Of all the MTV Comics properties, I consider this to have the most potential, however, because of the execution. The artwork, though reminiscent of some other Web comics we might have seen already all over the Internet, is eyecatching enough and serves the story well. It's the writing that brings it over the top. Taylor Jane is a great character, multi-tasking as she fights terrorists while wearing a suit that gives her special powers and, at the same time, playing chess online, checking email, watching a movie, making phone calls. It sounds ridiculous, but the creators (Adrianna Huffman, John Huffman IV, and Tony Lee) make it work. Taylor is the perfect mom, but her adrenaline rushes when she steps into her government agent alter ego, and the reader connects to that energy. So far, this is the title worth reading to see where they'll go with it.

Divination - The black-and-white manga style of this one (by Val Staples, Gina Iorio, and Julia Laud) is nothing unique, and the story is not much better. Anastasia is a teenager who sees ghosts and Death itself. The dialogue is forced at times and the characters are cliche, but it has a definite stereotypical MTV generation feel.

The Gloom - MTV is trying for a traditional superhero tale here, while playing up the humor. Even the logo on the cover makes MTV Comics look like the old Marvel Comics header. The story kickstarts nicely enough with a riff on Batman's origin. Set in the 1940s, it doesn't take itself seriously at all, and starts getting convoluted and confusing. It felt like a cheesy z-grade hero rather than a character I would want to keep reading about. Tony Lee's art isn't as consistant as in Agent Mom and the writing by Dan Boultwood is at times great and at other times disappointingly terrible.

Hats - What the eff is this? Like the worst comics that try to be edgy while having no story structure whatsoever, this one is a mess. The colors are vibrant and psychadelic, but the short stories of a guy on a wacky planet are just too bizarre and pointless. Unlike Alice in Wonderland or other masterpieces that made surrealist fantasies work, this seemingly drugged-out trip by Vasilis Lolos and various artists is crude, incoherent, juvenile, and silly, which means MTV probably thinks it's the best of the lot.

Me2 - Here's another that might have potential -- about a girl named Crystal Carter who's been in a mental hospital and finally is freed to live with her grandmother. Does she have psychic powers? Was she abducted as a kid? What secrets are the people watching over her hiding? Created by Karl Altstaetter, it's a good, if unremarkable, set-up, but the first issue ends abruptly, so we'll see.

MTV Comics will be coming out with more content. I'm looking forward to seeing The Adventures of Apocalypse Al by J. Michael Straczynski, for example. We shall see if MTV can compete with the big boys and girls of comicdom, or if any of these properties (or future ones) eventually connect with mainstream audiences, which is surely MTV's ultimate goal.

Should Peter Jackson Have Made The Hobbit First?

2011-12-21T23:29:00.000-05:00

The new trailer for next year's long awaited Hobbit movie is spectacular, but I can't help but think how great it would have been to see it over a decade ago. Don't get me wrong, I love the Lord of the Rings film trilogy, but I always wished that Peter Jackson had adapted The Hobbit first.

J.R.R. Tolkien's introduction to Middle Earth was one of my favorite books as a child. His later grand epic (The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and Return of the King) was an undeniable masterpiece, and Jackson's sweeping version definitely did it justice, but The Hobbit was a wonderful standalone tale that set the stage for the greatness to come, and it should have been made first.

The blog Movies with Butter succinctly sums up my trepidation. Since we've already seen the live-action Lord of the Rings films, "we know what will happen to all the characters so it's difficult to be surprised by the events in the (Hobbit) movie. The stakes are so much lower here as well. In the Lord of the Rings, the world is on the brink of being overrun by Sauron's army horde; in The Hobbit, a group of dwarves just want to reclaim their home. Taken for what it is though, The Hobbit will still stand on its own, just don't expect to see Lord of the Rings here."

I read The Hobbit first and then delved into the richer LOTR novels. Would it have been better to experience the movies in that order too? Watching Bilbo's cameo in the trilogy, I felt a sense of missing backstory -- I wanted to see his original journey, not just imagine it based on the story I read as a child. Now, watching the new trailer, I have a sense of bizarre nostalgia -- it's the first "episode," but we've seen everything that will come next with Frodo and the rest.

I'm glad that we will now be able to see the adventures of Bilbo Baggins, the discovery of the Ring, the ultimate battle with the dragon Smaug in not one but two movies (An Unexpected Journey and There and Back Again), but would it have been more powerful as the first movie in Jackson's saga rather than just a prequel?

3D Nostalgia

2011-12-20T23:42:00.000-05:00

I've made no secret about my hatred of the current 3D trend. Hollywood has invested a lot in the technology and boosted ticket prices because of it, but in the end we've seen backlash from audiences and critics -- and (guess what?) ticket sales are still down. When will they learn that it's about story, not three-dimensional gimmickry? Is 3D really the number one option that consumers want in television sets, video games, and smartphones? Obviously the answer is no, no, no. Let's face reality -- 3D started out as a novelty and so far I still need proof that it will rise above that lowly status.

Now, being a cheap fad (or in the current case, a not so cheap fad) isn't necessarily a bad thing. I have some fond memories of 3D when it didn't have delusions of grandeur. I wasn't around to see House of Wax, It Came from Outer Space, or The Creature from the Black Lagoon when they were originally released in 3D, but they delighted moviegoers who didn't think of them as anything more than fun popcorn flicks. Those movies still hold up as cheesy guilty pleasures, with or without the primitive 3D effects. The crappy 3D revival of the 1980s failed to catch on because, let's admit it, the movies were terrible -- Jaws 3D, Amityville 3D, Friday the 13th Part III, and Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone.

As a kid, I used to have the stereoscopic binoculars called View-Master. (It's still a toy that's available from Fisher-Price.) I remember collecting the discs and enjoying peeping through the double-viewfinder (making sure I aimed it at a light source so I could see) and watching crude three dimensional images tell a story in seven double-slides, one for each eye, creating an illusion of multiple layers of depth. It wasn't so much the 3D trick that made the toy interesting, it was collecting the discs -- I had ones about dinosaurs, cartoons, superheroes, and more. It was like collecting Pez dispensers, bubblegum cards, or other trivial but enjoyable stuff that kids got a kick from accumulating.

Television experimented with 3D off and on, but again it was never anything more than a cheap stunt -- episodes of 3rd Rock from the Sun, Medium, Chuck, and Arrested Development.

The first (and probably only) use of 3D that grabbed my attention and made me see the potential for the technology in storytelling was the well-made theme-park attraction T2 3D: Battle Across Time. The 3D effects were spectacular and really worked well, and most importantly served the story, so when things seemed to pop out of the screen at the viewer, it wasn't distracting, but rather fit perfectly with what was happening (and it actually looked like it popped out of the freakin' screen!)

People now praise recent movies like Avatar, How to Train Your Dragon, or Hugo, but I argue that those are well-made enjoyable movies even without the 3D technology (which I still think is over-rating, kind of like "the emperor's new clothes"). Other films either succeed or fail based on their own merits, not just on their use of 3D. Other times, like in A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas, they use 3D well because they understand that it's just a gimmick and they make it fit the story.

It's a lesson that I'm surprised filmmakers haven't learned yet after all this time.

The Implications of a Jedi Religion

2011-12-19T23:09:00.001-05:00

What began in 2001 as a protest in England against questions about census-takers' religious affiliations has grown into a worldwide phenomenon as people are starting to wonder if the Star Wars inspired religion is actually becoming a legitimate organized faith system. Dubbed the Church of Jedi, or Jediism, or Knights of the Jedi, the grassroots movement is gaining momentum and is being added to more census questionnaires in countries around the globe. Many of those who identify themselves as part of the Star Wars religion are merely fans of the popular science fiction and fantasy franchise, and others are using it as a means to express their frustration with other organized religions. Some, however, are taking it far more seriously.

More than 15,000 people in the Czech Republic identified themselves as believers in the Force, joining over 70,000 Australians, 21,000 Canadians, 53,000 New Zealanders, 14,000 Scots, and an amazing 390,000 Brits! (Read all about the spread of the religion based on global census figures here.)

Both traditional religious believers and atheists have criticized the movement as a "joke" that trivializes and mocks real questions about the role of spirituality in society, but while some of the Jedi believers readily admit they are doing it for amusement or to make a political/social statement, many others express their own outrage that their belief system is being judged, ridiculed, and condemned. Some who openly follow the Jedi religion wear Jedi robes and have challenged authorities who demanded that they pull down their hoods.

It might sound laughable, but the movement is expanding. While the movies serve as a modern version of a "sacred text" with the teachings of Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi as their prophets, believers have adopted a formal set of guiding principles, known as the Jedi Code:

There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force.

George Lucas, creator of the Star Wars saga, readily admits borrowing ideas from various religious and mythological sources, hoping that his story would resonate with viewers, especially young ones, as he says, filling an alleged spiritual void in modern culture. While his intentions of starting a religion may not have been as well defined as L. Ron Hubbard's for example, the result may speak for itself and might take on a life of its own. Might Lucas, a master marketer, eventually embrace the movement if it continues to gain traction? Imagine his billion dollar empire transformed into a tax-exempt recognized religion. Stranger things have happened.

Might believers be able to write off going to Star Wars films as part of their religious observance? Might their purchase of Star Wars memorabilia be eventually viewed as tax write-offs as part of donations for their "church"? (And some of you thought Star Trek loyalists were extreme in their fanaticism.)

The Website, The Geneology of Religion, quotes a Jedi's proclamation of faith: "In Jediism, we believe in the Force. The Force is a unifying energy which exists around us, in us, and is always present. It is the catalyst for life – it is the power that keeps the universe together. The Force is not something Jedi worship, rather it is something we concentrate on, and can relate to...Our aim is to bring all of the world’s believers in the Force together for the power of good. We will form a community that does not have bias or any type of prejudice. A community that does not reject other religions, but in fact encourages their positive teachings. It is through positivity that we shall thrive, for that is the Light side of the Force." Many have already pointed out the similarities of the Jedi religion with Taoist, Zen Buddhist, and even some Christian philosophies, going so far as to claim the Force is just another representation of God.

What might sound like sacrilege to some might not be that farfetched for others. Those who view this as a mockery of religion or, in turn, choose to mock the Jedi believers themselves, might wish to heed the words of Darth Vader when he answered Admiral Motti for belittling his "sad devotion" to the Jedi religion: "I find your lack of faith disturbing." Never underestimate the power of the Force, indeed.

Picking the Best of the Year

2011-12-18T17:18:00.001-05:00

You know 2011 is winding down when all the "best of the year" announcements start coming out. Here's my reaction to some of them.

MTV selected Katy Perry as its first "Artist of the Year." Some might have been rooting for others who made a big musical splash, like Adele, Bruno Mars, or even Adam Levine, but there's no denying Katy had an enormous 2011 with six top-five singles, on the verge of breaking Michael Jackson's record of most number one singles from an album. My earlier post "defending" her from naysayers attracted over 56,000 unique visitors to my blog, so she continues to generate enormous interest, both for her music and her personality. Click here to see MTV's full list of best artists of the year.

Sports Illustrated had a tie for "Sportsperson of the Year" -- Mike Krzyzewski and Pat Summitt. While their work as head coaches for, respectively, Duke University's Blue Devils and the Tennessee Lady Vols is commendable, this seems more like lifetime achievement honors than "best of the year in sports." How about NBA player Dirk Nowitzki of the champion Dallas Mavericks, or manager Tony LaRussa of the MLB World Series champs St. Louis Cardinals, or tennis player Novak Djokovic who won three majors, or even the NFL's boy wonder, Tim Tebow of the Denver Broncos, who keeps defying the odds? But I'm not a huge college basketball fan, so what do I know.

Barbara Walters' selection of "Most Fascinating Person of the Year" was Steve Jobs. The Apple founder was an historic and iconic figure, so I can't dispute that choice. Her full list of "most fascinating people" is as eclectic as always -- a wide range of people including Herman Cain, Simon Cowell, Derek Jeter, Amanda Knox, and Pippa Middleton. Yet, she throws all credibility out the window by adding the Kardashians to her list -- they might be many things, but "fascinating" is a stretch.

The high profile of choice is Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" -- the editors claim that it's not technically a "best of" award (after all they named Hitler as Man of the Year in 1938), but rather an acknowledgement of the person(s) who had the most impact on news during the last twelve months. This year's pick is "The Protester," a selection that covers the crowds who ushered the "Arab Spring," toppling various Middle Eastern dictatorships, and the young Occupy Wall Street movement here on our own soil. While critics like Glenn Beck have denounced the choice, I think it is a fair and appropriate selection, because those uprisings have certainly had a major impact on the current events of 2011.

People Magazine named Bradley Cooper as the "Sexiest Man Alive." I will conclude my essay by throwing my hat in the ring for consideration for next year's award. Carry on!

A Day at the Children's Museum of Manhattan

2011-12-17T22:11:00.000-05:00

I previously wrote about children's museums in Connecticut and in Philadelphia, but on Saturday my wife and I took our two year old daughter to one in our own backyard, the Children's Museum of Manhattan. It is typically open 10 a.m. until 5 p.m. but on Saturdays it has extended hours until 7 p.m. The admission price of $11 is a very good value considering there are 5 floors of fun attractions to keep both the little ones and the grown-ups amused.

If public transportation isn't an option, be warned that parking is horrendous, as can be expected. We couldn't get in to the recommended discounted garage, and there was no street parking to be found, of course, so we ended up parking in a pricey garage right across the street. That was the only negative of an otherwise very positive day.

We grabbed a bite to eat first. There are a lot of great family friendly places around there. We chose Caesar's Palace Pizza. Usually, I despise Manhattan pizza since it never comes close to the pizza of the outer boroughs, but this one was pretty good.

We then went to the museum and got our money's worth by spending half the day there. My wife and I ended up more exhausted than our little girl, who was a bundle of energy and happiness throughout our visit. Here's a picture of her saving a baby jaguar with one of her heroes, Diego.

It was part of an entire floor dedicated to Go, Diego, Go and Dora the Explorer. Kids can cross bridges, peer through telescopes, pull ropes to make giant butterflies move overhead, zoom down slides, interact with a bunch of displays, push buttons to hear music, gaze at themselves in mirrored walls, and more.

Other floors included other engaging exhibits: EatSleepPlay (which was praised by First Lady Michelle Obama for its interactive exercises to promote good health); PlayWorks, with firetrucks, a hungry dragon, giant building blocks, tunnels and slides, and other activities; and America's Parade, a visual celebration of 85 years of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. There was storytelling and a sing-a-long. The outdoor City Splash exhibit was closed for the season, but there was still plenty to do to keep us occupied for hours.

If you're in the Big Apple and looking for something entertaining and educational to do with your babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and other young'uns, check out the Children's Museum of Manhattan.

The Transformation of YouTube

2011-12-16T20:17:00.000-05:00

What do you think of the new design/layout of YouTube? It's not just a stupid "change for change's sake" modification or a poorly communicated and ill-conceived update that I've complained about before when Facebook, Netflix, and Google Calendar did it in the past. There actually seems to be a method to YouTube's madness. Everything seems to indicate that the online video pioneer is trying hard to become more like traditional television -- more specific channels, more professionally-created content, and (here's the big one) more advertising-generated revenue.

The New York Times had a good article about it. It pointed out the fact that the new changes will probably make it harder for those little amateur-created Web videos to be discovered by millions of viewers and easier for Hollywood, Madison Avenue, and marketing partners to broadcast their "professionally" produced messages to the top of the YouTube pile.

As Mike Hile explains, "The redesign is a muted but firm declaration that the party is over. It’s YouTube’s strongest step away from what will be seen as its short-lived early heyday as a largely unregulated repository (of user-generated videos)...In place of that free-for-all will be a new YouTube, more commercial, more predictable and, its owners hope, more televisionlike. The underlying reason is money, of course, but the immediate issue is control. By cutting away the user-driven underbrush and shepherding viewers, especially those with YouTube accounts, toward TV-like content channels — an increasing number of them produced by corporate media partners — YouTube and its owner, Google, will gain more control by giving amateur videographers less exposure and funneling viewers toward fewer choices."

One of the commenters of that article, "Martin," summed it up perfectly: "In other words, it's shifting from something that provides a service to viewers to something that provides viewers to advertisers."

The partypoopers surely won't stop there. I'm sure advertising and marketing partnerships won't be enough, so new revenue streams will be explored and eventually implemented. Any bets on how long before YouTube starts adding Premium packages (like Hulu and others have done)? You will probably be able to get your homemade videos of your pets, your garage band, or your film school sci-fi epic out of the clutter by paying for it. Yes, up until now, the joy of YouTube was its fairness -- good stuff rose to the top. "Good" of course is a relative term -- some viral videos are just silly, but people enjoy making them, watching them and sharing them. Some video blogs are excellent and YouTube gave everyone a chance to jump on their virtual soapbox and speak their minds in the hope that people would listen. The people had usurped the gatekeepers of traditional media! Well, now it looks like the gatekeepers are finding ways to say, "Not so fast."

I didn't mind YouTube's last layout change so much. Sure, it was frustrating trying to re-educate myself to all its functionality, but it was still pretty easy to find stuff after a small learning curve and some of the changes made it more streamlined. Now, however, the new design made me upset because I couldn't find all my favorite individual videos -- they were buried by a cascade of "Channels" broadcasting not what I chose to watch, but what YouTube's new algorithms decided I wanted to watch or should watch (based I guess on my previous searches -- thank you very much Search Engine Big Brother!), which I guess I wouldn't mind if it wasn't so completely wrong about my tastes!

Needless to say, it didn't take long for me to switch to the "old Channels design," the old settings with which I had grown comfortable. I'll give YouTube's owner Google credit for at least making that an option, although they don't really go out of their way to let you know that it is an option.

I don't begrudge YouTube for making every effort to monetize its business, I just wish it could do so without going so off-track from the user-model upon which it was founded and which attracted so many of us to its service in the ifrst place, revolutionizing videomaking and distribution in the process.

The old guard never liked the emergence of citizen journalists, guerilla filmmakers, and unsigned artists making and sharing their video content so easily with the world, overshadowing the content put out by their own TV networks, record labels, and movie studios. Maybe the revolution is over. Hopefully, we didn't lose.

A Look at Howard Stern's New Gig

2011-12-15T23:47:00.000-05:00

At the beginning of 2010 when Simon Cowell announced that he was leaving American Idol, a lot of people (including me) speculated if Howard Stern might be his replacement. That didn't happen, but now Stern will replace Piers Morgan as one of the hosts of that other televised talent competition, America's Got Talent.

Morgan moved on to his own CNN interview show, taking over the time slot left vacant by Larry King. America's Got Talent is one of my guilty pleasures, and Morgan could be entertaining with his stinging British critiques, but he was also often the most annoying aspect of the program, so I admit I won't really miss him. If Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel return as the rest of the judging team, along with host Nick Cannon, I think Howard Stern can add a lot of value to the mix.

The big question will be, can Stern work in a team atmosphere where he's not the primary focus? I think the answer will be yes. Just as Simon Cowell was the lightning rod for American Idol (and still arguably is for The X-Factor), Stern will draw much of the attention, but he's proven on his radio show that he can let his other partners shine (like Robin Quinn or Artie Lange). The man has good instincts and I'm sure he will surprise many of his detractors.

He is also a genuine fan of the competition, so even though the production will be moving to New York City to accomodate him (he just renewed his deal with Sirius XM to continue his popular satellite radio show) I don't imagine the tone of the program will change too much. Up until now, the goal has been to find a million dollar Las Vegas act -- the same could be done on Broadway.

Some folks hate Stern with a passion, but I've grown to respect his honesty, intelligence, and quick wit, especially after seeing his excellent bio-flick Private Parts. While his crude humor can be grating and juvenile, I don't think we will see too much of that on America's Got Talent. He'll certainly push the envelope, but I'll be surprised if his "shock jock" persona isn't toned down a bit to appease some of the families watching the network TV show (without coming across as a sell out).

The self-described "King of All Media" has achieved his success by taking chances and not shying away from controversy, but we'll have to wait and see exactly what Stern will bring to the table when the new season of America's Got Talent debuts next summer.

More Big Budget Movie Productions Biting the Dust?

2011-12-14T23:21:00.001-05:00

I previously wrote about Hollywood's cold feet as budgets skyrocketed on some highly anticipated productions, such as The Lone Ranger remake starring Johnny Depp and the ambitious production of Stephen King's The Dark Tower by director Ron Howard, forcing those projects to temporarily shut down and trim their costs or seek funding elsewhere. Now, a few other high profile movies are in trouble before filming has even begun, and it's all because film studios are becoming squeamish about investing hundreds of millions of dollars in this economy. Deadline Hollywood reports that Legendary Pictures is pushing back its heavily hyped version of John Milton's Paradise Lost because the estimated cost to make it has skyrocketed beyond the $120 million mark, and it also writes that Warner Bros. has nixed Arthur and Lancelot because the estimated $130 million budget was deemed too high a risk. Universal Pictures also turned around its greenlight of the adaptation of the H.P. Lovecraft story At the Mountains of Madness.

It's understandable that Warner Bros. is nervous about Arthur and Lancelot, since movies based on the mythic story of the Knights of the Round Table have been hit or miss. Would the contemporary retelling of the King Arthur saga attract an audience as did the cult classic Excalibur or the Disney favorite The Sword in the Stone, or would it fizzle like First Knight and countless others? The story continues to be told to death, with the BBC's Merlin and Starz's dramatic re-imagining of Camelot, just to name two of the most recent. Arthur and Lancelot would have been directed by David Dobkin who previously gave us Shanghai Knights, Wedding Crashers, Fred Claus, and The Change-Up, and would have starred TV actors Kit Harington of Game of Thrones and Joel Kinneman of The Killing in the leads, both unproven as film stars -- not exactly the kind of names that can guarantee the success of a multi-million-dollar tentpole picture.

Yet even big names cannot quelch the trepidation of producers facing shaky economic times. At the Mountains of Madness would have been helmed by Guillermo del Toro and possibly starred Tom Cruise, while Paradise Lost was set to have been directed by Alex Proyas and to have featured Bradley Cooper, Camilla Belle, Dominic Purcell, Rufus Sewell, Casey Affleck, Djimon Hounsou, and others.

The good news is that the latter epic hasn't been completely shut down, but merely postponed until the numbers-crunchers can figure out a way to minimize the budget. The scheduled January production start will not happen, but maybe they can get their act together to begin filming in a few months. The promising and eagerly awaited Paradise Lost may not be utterly lost but only "Paradise Delayed." I hope they can find a way to make it happen.

Birthdays in the Age of Facebook

2011-12-13T21:48:00.000-05:00

I've been on Facebook for a few years now, and I continue to be amazed by the phenomenon of birthday wishes via wall posts on the social network. Others have written about it from their own perspective, but I have to share my own thoughts -- I think it's pretty darn cool. It doesn't replace face-to-face conversations or voice-to-voice phonecalls, but I still find it heartfelt and sincere when people take time out of their busy schedules to write a few words to let you know they're thinking of you. It means a lot to me.

If users share the date on their profile, Facebook reminds you of their birthdays in case you've forgotten (or never knew the date to begin with). It then only takes a few seconds to express your sentiment. It can be overwhelming if you've "friended" a lot of people, but for an attention whore like me it's fantastic as messages start streaming in the day and night before and then last from sunrise to sunset -- and some belated birthday wishes usually keep trickling in a day or two after the fact. Social media have enabled us to see in real-time the displays of affection from our friends, family, colleagues, neighbors, aquaintances, and anyone else you might know and happen to be connected with.

There's some privacy concerns, of course, so I choose not to put my exact year of birth online or correct people all the time when they mistake how old I am, but paranoia aside, reading all the messages the past few years on my birthday have added an extra bit of warmth to my aging heart.

The more it connects us, the more it seems sometimes that New Media make life impersonal, and some argue that the closer they bring us the more distant we're really becoming from each other. To a degree, the jaded critics have a point. Being an eternal optimist (for the most part), I look at the bright side and value hearing from people I care about. I cherish having any excuse to exchange a few words with them and hopefully build upon that communication, however brief it might be.

Thanks to all of you who took the time to give me a shout out. I appreciate it.

Discovering a Great Show Almost Too Late

2011-12-12T22:15:00.000-05:00

With so much content overwhelming our senses through the myriad media around us today, a lot of good programming falls through the cracks. One such show is the excellent comedy Community, which is in its third season and facing cancellation from its parent network NBC. My wife was introduced to the show by her friend Jennifer, and after hearing her rave about it, I finally tuned in to a few episodes myself and now I'm hooked as well.

The sitcom, set in a small college, is right up my alley with pop culture references galore and laugh-out-loud geeky moments. How did I ever miss it before? Except for Chevy Chase, who plays the millionaire Pierce Hawthorne, I was mostly unfamiliar with the rest of the actors in the cast, but they're all so amazingly funny -- Joel McHale as the former lawyer Jeff Winger, Alison Brie as the lovely but quirky Annie Edison, Danny Pudi as film student Abed Nadir, Yvette Nicole Brown as single mom Shirley Bennett, Ken Yeong as teacher Ben "Senor" Chang, and Jim Rash as Dean Craig Pelton. My favorite character is the wacky one-time anarchist Britta Perry, played wonderfully by Gillian Jacobs, and my wife's favorite is the adorable nerd Troy Barnes, brought to life by the talented Donald Glover.

A bunch of my friends recommended Community to me in the past, but I never got around to tuning in until my wife convinced me to give it a try. It lasted three years, will it last more?

Baseball News in December

2011-12-11T22:04:00.001-05:00

Here we are in mid-December. Football teams are battling it out to make it into the playoffs, basketball is back from its work stoppage fiasco and causing behind the scenes drama as its abbreviated season is about to begin, but the week was full of headlines about BASEBALL! Yes, winter might soon officially be upon us, but fans of the National Pastime like me were bombarded this week with some big news about our favorite sport.

Major League Baseball's annual off-season deal-making gathering (popularly known as the "winter meetings" even though it's still technically autumn) included some blockbuster moves by two teams in particular: the Miami Marlins and the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

The Marlins made a splash in an effort to rebuild their team as they embark on a major rebranding turning point for their franchise (new name, new stadium, new uniforms -- now new superstar players). Can the Marlins finally draw a crowd with new starting pitcher Mark Buehrle, new shortstop Jose Reyes, and new closer Heath Bell?

The Angels are making big moves to steal the spotlight from the Los Angeles Dodgers who are looking for a new owner. They signed arguably the best player in baseball, first baseman Albert Pujols, and starting pitcher C.J. Wilson.

The hiring of Bobby Valentine as the new manager of the Boston Red Sox should heat up the infamous feud in the American League East between Beantown and the New York Yankees. Also, the rumored addition of an expansion of Wild Card Playoff teams should make things interesting next season.

Unfortunately, there's also bad news -- the National League Most-Valuable-Player Ryan Braun of the Milwaukee Brewers has tested positive for an illegal substance. The details still haven't all been released, but it's disheartening for baseball fans still trying to get over the stigma of the steroid era.

Spring Training is still a few months away, but the past few weeks have certainly given us plenty of baseball topics to talk about.

Comedy Tonight

2011-12-10T11:32:00.000-05:00

My birthday falls on a Tuesday this year, so I'm celebrating a little early this weekend. Saturday night I'm heading over with family and a few friends to The Comic Strip, one of my favorite comedy clubs. Here's the lineup for the 8 p.m. show:

Host William Stephenson welcomes:

Jim Mendrinos
Writes for NBC's "Saturday Night Live," Comedy Central's "Tough Crowd," BBC's "American Comedy," Authored "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Comedy Writing"

David Baker
NBC's "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," "The Bob and Tom Show," Comedy Network special in Canada

Marina Franklin
Correspondent for "The Jay Leno Show," NBC's "Last Comic Standing," Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and "Tough Crowd," Oxygen’s "Girls Behaving Badly," BBC’s "The World Stand’s Up," Late Late Show w/ Craig Ferguson

Chuck Nice
VH1's "Best Week Ever," WETV "Cinematherapy," Fox "The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet," MSNBC "Moring Joe & Dan Abrams," TRUTV "Tru Tv Saturday Nights," Fox News "The pulse w/E.D. Hill," Sirius Satellite Radio, NBC's "Showtime At The Apollo," HBO's "Snaps," MTV's "Sex in the 90's"

Looking forward to lots of laughs and good times.

Guest Post: The Mad Blogger Still Hates Angry Birds

2011-12-09T19:02:00.001-05:00

When my friend Robert (also known as the Mad Blogger) posted his mini-reviews of iPad games, he went so far as to criticize one of the most popular apps of our time -- "Angry Birds." It caused a furor from the game's devoted fans. I have never played the game (although the description reminds me a lot of PlayStation3's "Pain," which I think is a silly but very enjoyable distraction). I hereby turn over the megaphone to the Mad Blogger once again so he can defend his controversial opinion.

"I am going to confess (once again) something to you that may cause you to put your fist through the computer screen.

I hate Angry Birds.

I believe a law was passed recently in 49 of our 50 states (sorry, Tennessee) that everyone MUST love Angry Birds. And yes, I've seen people wear Angry Birds T-shirts and look at you funny if you do not say that Angry Birds is the greatest game since Pong.

I know that makes me a rebel, if you will, a person whom Ray Bradbury had in mind when he wrote Farenheit 451, but then again, I am not called The Mad Blogger for nothing.

I downloaded the free Trial version on my iPad, and after hearing the hype (don't believe it, by the way), your job is to punish these birds because they are angry by placing them in a slingshot and casting them in the direction of condemned buildings and other fragile structures.

Does P.E.T.A. have anything to say about this? Also, how decrepit are these structures if a mere bird can cause them to tumble?

Well, you can see why these birds are angry. You would be too if your job was to be hurled against a solid structure for purely entertainment reasons.

Anyway, if you knock over enough buildings, you go on to the next level, where you then have to cast even more birds, who are, by now, furious, into more buildings, and so on.

I don't get it. I like Lemmings, but there, you were in charge of enabling the little green guys from escaping. And you had different Lemmings with different roles, like the Smurfs. To me, that requires strategy. Here, you're just throwing birds at buildings. It gets boring after a while.

And so, I say this, and please don't hate the player, hate the game, but I say that I hate Angry Birds.

The Mad Blogger has spoken."

I always aim to present a balanced picture, so I welcome any die-hard "Angry Birds" fans to step up and stick up for their maligned game. The forum is yours.

Dinner Reunion on Arthur Avenue

2011-12-08T23:30:00.001-05:00

Arthur Avenue, the "Little Italy of the Bronx," is a great place to grab a bite to eat, and the experience is all the more pleasant when you're with good company. Thursday night I had dinner with some of my dearest childhood friends at one of my favorite restaurants, Zero Otto Nove.

It's the perfect trattoria -- excellent ambiance and delicious food. I shared Italian cuisine, fond memories, and lots of laughs with Jonnybeers, Robert the Mad Blogger, and Our Pal Al. We've known each other for years and every time we get together it's as if no time has passed at all.

If you're in the neighborhood, check out Zero Otto Nove. The pizza is fantastic, and so is the pasta. The wine selection is superb too. Honestly, you can't go wrong with anything on the menu.

A Day Trip to Philly

2011-12-07T22:27:00.000-05:00

Being the nice husband and cool dad that I am, I went with my wife and baby girl to Philadelphia on Wednesday, driving in the pouring rain from New York City to meet up with some friends at a children's museum in the City of Brotherly Love. What can I say? I adore my family and like to make them happy. I made it back in time to teach my final class of the semester. Sometimes, I impress even myself.

All kidding aside, Philly has some cool stuff. Next time we'll have to stay longer. We went to the Please Touch Museum (an awkward name for a kids' museum in this day and age, but it refers to a commendable mission of engaging all the senses of a child through some excellent displays and exhibitions -- a museum that actually encourages its patrons to interact with its collections).

The museum building is grand and the sights are spectacular. My favorite was the Alice in Wonderland themed section, but there plenty of other attractions to keep the attention of the little ones, while grown-ups could have a fun time too -- River Adventures, Flight Fantasy, Rainforest Rhythm, and more. My daughter loved the full-sized fully-refurbished Dentzel Carousel, which original resided in Woodside Park.

If you have kids and happen to be in the Philadelphia area, check it out. You'll have a great time.

To Discover Strange New Worlds

2011-12-06T22:50:00.000-05:00

NASA announced the discovery of a new planet 600 light years away that dwells in the so-called "Goldilocks Zone" of its solar system ("not too hot, not too cold, but just right" to possibly support life). Named Kepler-22b, it is the latest in a string of discoveries that gives dreamers hope of someday finding an actual twin of Earth somewhere out there in the cosmos. If such planets are commonplace, then maybe the probability of the universe being littered with life might be an undeniable fact rather than just a highly likely theory that scientists and sci-fi fans have long championed.

Kepler-22b might have an atmosphere and might have liquid water. Even though those details have not been confirmed yet, it's still an incredible leap from the last breath-taking discovery of the first rocky Earth-like planet (named CoRoT-7b). The words on the blog Crossroads and Portals at the time of that announcement are just as relevant now:

"What we thought to be rare or unique is, in fact, commonplace. Consider our own solar system consists of eight planets, one of which is teeming with life. If the odds within our own solar system are one in eight, imagine what's out there in the countless stars of the cosmos. The evidence of extra-terrestrial life beyond our blue and green orb seems inevitable."

I'm not a statistician, nor am I an astronomer or other scientist, but I'm definitely a dreamer. We might be a long way from ever finding a plausible method of reaching those distant new worlds, but their discovery is thrilling nonetheless. Who knows what we'll stumble upon tomorrow?

A Final Farewell to Napster

2011-12-05T21:56:00.000-05:00

Most people thought that Napster, the infamous peer-to-peer filesharing Web site, came to an end when it settled its highly publicized lawsuit with the Recording Industry Association of America, but it lived on as a pay site, first owned by Roxio (after bankruptcy auction) then as a subsidy of Best Buy, finally merging with Rhapsody. The company known as Napster officially ended last week, marking the end of an era.

The legacy of Napster is still a hot topic for debate. Its demise has not seen the end of illegal downloads or copyright infringements. I still believe that record labels would have been better suited by cooperating with Napster and developing a mutually beneficial business model, but now all of that is hindsight what-ifs and speculation.

Sean Parker, co-founder of Napster, is now on the board of directors for Spotify, and if you've seen the movie The Social Network, you know he played a part in advising Mark Zuckerberg about his little Facebook idea. New media technology continues to change, but history should not forget the impact that Napster had, for "good and evil," on how people search for, consume, share, and distribute electronic content.

Guest Post: Reviews of Some iPad Games

2011-12-04T21:04:00.001-05:00

Since I'm still enjoying my vacation, here is another guest post by one of my friends, Robert, reviewing games available on the iPad.

Angry Birds

Rating: C

In Angry Birds, you control a flock of multi-colored fowl that try to retrieve eggs taken by a group of evil green pigs. So far, so good? Now, on each level, the pigs are sheltered by structures made of various materials such as wood, ice, and stone.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to eliminate all the pigs in the level. How do you do this? Well, by using a slingshot, you launch the birds with the intent of either hitting the pigs directly or damaging the structures, causing them to collapse and kill the pigs.

You do this for level after level after level. Yes, you can use other objects, such as explosive crates and rocks, to destroy hard-to-reach pigs. However, after a while, the game gets boring. After the sadistic feeling of hurting birds, whom you can now see why they are angry, the repetitive gameplay wears thin.

Dungeon Hunter 2
Rating: C+

Dungeon Hunter is a hack-and-slash action/roleplaying video game, set in a fantasy universe. Three character classes: mage, rogue, and warrior – are playable, with the game taking place over 30 levels in environments including dungeons, forests, and villages.

If this game looks familiar, as if you have seen it before, well, you have. This is a clone of Diablo and Diablo II Lord of Destruction (LOD), only not as good. Also, if a game is released years later, should it not be at least as good as its predecessor? I think so. If you are looking for a much better game, try Diablo or Diablo II LOD.

The other problem I have with this game is the iPad virtual joystick. It is clumsy and often unresponsive. For games such as these, a real joystick would be better. This has been implemented in the Atari for iPad package set. It should be implemented here, as well.

So, Dungeon Hunter 2 is not a bad game; it is simply not a very good one. For the next version, some originality would result in a higher rating.

Fruit Ninja
Rating: A-

In Fruit Ninja, you slice fruit with a blade controlled by a touch pad. As the fruit is thrown onto the screen, you swipe your finger across the screen to create a slicing motion, attempting to slice the fruit in half. You are awarded extra points for slicing multiple fruits with one swipe, and you can use additional fingers to make multiple slices simultaneously.

You must slice all fruit; if you miss three pieces of fruit, the game ends. However, if you reach scores that are multiples of one hundred (that is, 100, 200, 300, and so on), you gain an extra life. Now, here's the catch. Bombs are occasionally thrown onto the screen, and will also end the game if you slice them.

There is a Zen mode and an Arcade mode, but the Standard mode is the one to play. It is highly challenging and extremely addictive. In fact, this game is so addictive, an arcade port of it was released earlier this year, and when was the last time you saw a console game precede its arcade counterpart? Usually, it is the other way around.

If I had one negative thing to say about Fruit Ninja, it is that it is too difficult. After you reach the first milestone (that is, a score of 100), the difficulty increases exponentially. A more gradual increase of skill requirement might have been better. But this is nitpicky. Fruit Ninja represents the type of game that should be played on the iPad.

Infinity Blade
Rating: A

In the 1980s, there was Dragon's Lair, and the beautiful thing about this game was that the animation, fluid game controls, and storyline had you hooked. During this time, when arcade games were 25 cents, the makers of Dragon's Lair had the stones to charge (Are you ready for this?) a whopping 50 cents per play. And even with the price increase of 100% over all other video games of the day, there were long lines to play this game. Dragon's Lair took gaming to a whole new level (no pun intended).

Thirty years later, Infinity Blade has done the same for the iPad. The game follows a narrative structure in which you ascend a castle in a quest to battle the primary antagonist, the immortal God King. At the beginning of the game, you are slain by the God King. You then restart the ascent, now assuming the role of the dead character's descendant. This cycle continues every time you fall before the God King. As each cycle passes, the enemies increase in difficulty.

What is nice about Infinity Blade is that the game has no virtual joystick; movement is scripted (similar to Dragon's Lair). You tap highlighted points to move from room to room. Also, you control the character's sword by swiping a finger across the screen. You can touch the bottom left or bottom right side of the screen to dodge attacks or the bottom center of the screen to block attacks with a shield, which breaks if used too much. Finally, you can parry incoming attacks by performing an intercepting sword move. Each of these three counters leaves the enemy vulnerable to counterattack for a short period. You may also use two special abilities, both of which require time to recharge after use. Tapping the icon on the top left unleashes the Super Attack, which stuns the opponent temporarily. Magic is activated by tapping the icon on the top right and then drawing a magical symbol.

In addition to combat, there is a mild role-playing component. An experience points system levels you up as well as your equipment, which consists of weapons, armor, shields, helms, and magic rings. Pieces of equipment have special properties and a pre-determined amount of experience points required to master them. Mastering a piece of equipment increases its sale value, but you no longer gain any experience from it. As a result, to continue to gain experience, you must purchase new equipment. This "forces" you to try many types of swords, shields, rings, helms, and armor. By doing so, you can find the set that is best for you. For me, a level-181 character, I have the Infinity Blade as my sword, Tempest as my shield, Kward as my ring, Omega as my armor, and Fusion as my helmet (though I use Legion for acquiring more gold).

When you gain experience points, you can use these points to improve your character's health, attack, shield power, and magic. You can purchase new equipment using in-game money taken from the castle or from defeated enemies.

Infinity Blade is highly addictive, and even after you defeat the God King, as well as the other Deathless Kings (part of the free patch upgrade), you'll find yourself playing it again (and again). In fact, the creators of Infinity Blade had this in mind by offering a "newgame+" feature. This feature allows you to keep your level and experience points, while enabling you to master all equipment again. Also, there are some nice Easter eggs in Infinity Blade, including one that you can use to acquire the highly-coveted "Dark Mech" armor.

You are limited in the types of equipment you can acquire. Also, there are only about 1-2 dozen villains in the entire game. A nice-to-have to be addressed in the sequel is the ability to wield two swords as opposed to the traditional sword-and-shield setting. However, these are small areas of criticism. If you want the definitive iPad RPG, look no further than Infinity Blade.

Plants vs. Zombies
Rating: A+

In Plants vs. Zombies, you place different types of plants and fungi, each with their own unique offensive or defensive capabilities, around a house to stop a horde of zombies from devouring the brains of the residents. The playing field is divided into a number of horizontal "lanes," and with rare exceptions, a zombie only moves toward your house along one lane (the main exception is if it has scented a garlic). Most plants can only attack or defend against zombies in the lane in which they are planted. In the game's initial levels, if the zombie reaches your house, you can use a one-shot tool (for example, a lawn mower) to wipe out zombies completely in that lane; however, the tool will not be restored until the next level. In later levels, you have to purchase upgrades so as to adapt your lawn mower to new environments like pools or rooftops. Except in special cases, Zombies attempt to devour any plants in their way while heading toward your house.

The game is quite addictive, and after you complete all 50 levels, a catchy tune accompanies a fantastic wrap-up video. If this were all Plants vs. Zombies contained, the game would be worth playing. However, there are a truckload of extras, including challenging achievements, a "Training" mode to practice the more challenging levels, a "Survival" mode for those of you who like your zombies to attack Rambo-style, and dozens of intriguing mini-games. This game is as close to perfection as a game can get, and even after you complete it, you'll find yourself coming back for more, all the while singling, "There's a zombie on your lawn."

Thanks for the reviews, Robert. I don't have an iPad, so if any reader who does have one and has played these games has any other comments to add, either in agreement or disagreement, feel free to let me know.

Godspell on Broadway

2011-12-04T00:04:00.000-05:00

Godspell on Broadway lives up to the term "revival" in multiple ways. In theater terminology, it is an updated version of an older show, in this case the popular 1970s musical. In spiritual terms, a "revival" also refers to a communal awakening, and this production tries really hard to channel the exuberant energy of its talented cast to its audience, pumping them up sometimes in spite of themselves.

I never saw the original stage play nor have I seen the movie adaptation, so I can only judge Godspell based on the matinee performance I saw with my wife on Saturday. The space was the intimate Circle in the Square, one of my favorite venues on Broadway, where I saw the wonderful Metamorphoses and the fun 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. Its theater-in-the-round set up is perfectly suited for the up-close-and-personal action of the biblical tale of Jesus and his disciples, told in rapid fire variety acts of song, dance, vaudevillian humor, and theatrical dramatics.

While I love some of Stephen Schwartz's other musicals much more (Pippin and Wicked), some of the songs here still stick to my brain, such as "Save the People," "Beautiful City," and the lovely "Day by Day." The entire young cast is loaded with talent, led by Hunter Parrish who brings his endearing personality and some impressive gravitas to the role of Jesus.

Modern references pop up throughout the show, bringing the ages old Christian tale to contemporary times. I respect the show for putting the teachings of the icon from Nazareth at the forefront of the narrative, even if it sometimes feels like a string of church homilies and Sunday school acting exercises. The ensemble's commitment shines through and their positive energy elevates the parables to fresh new heights.

I'm curious to know how someone who saw the show back during its original run feels about the new version. Our society seems to become more and more cynical towards religion and spirituality. Some might find Godspell too preachy and others might find it too controversially irreverent. Others, like me, might see it as a charming little show with a message of love at its core.

Visit http://www.godspell.com/ for tickets and more information.

Digital Comics vs. Print

2011-12-02T23:40:00.000-05:00

The quick acceptance of tablet computers and color electronic readers has spurred the popularity of digital comics. While I think this is a good thing and a potential savior of the sometimes struggling comic book industry, others have seen it as a threat to what is seen as the heart and soul of the business -- independent shops that sell physical comic books. Writer Mark Millar, who created Kick-Ass, Wanted, The Authority, The Ultimates, and other bestselling titles, is one of the big names in the biz who doesn't mince words when he says he's "increasingly concerned for friends in retail that they're going to get shafted here."

I have already written about the fall of brick-and-mortar stores in the face of digital competition. If customers prefer the benefits of electronic consumption, why should progress be halted merely to delay the inevitable? If businesses refuse to adapt to the times, why should we hand-hold them and inconvenience those in the public who want the convenience of e-distribution?

While some might use the analogy of blacksmiths who no longer are asked to make horseshoes once the public abandons horses and embraces more modern modes of transportation, I think there are more accurate comparisons that offer more valuable lessons. The fall of Blockbuster video, the collapse of Tower Records, and on and on, should not be seen as fear-inducing examples of what might befall mom-and-pop comic book retailers, but rather as cautionary evidence to spark entrepreneurial action.

I have my favorite comic book shops, but I think if they continue in the mindset that they can delay the digital revolution, they will be heading down the path of self-destruction. Businesses that embrace technology are the ones that succeed rather than those that view it as an enemy. Many successful comics shops are recognizing the need to broaden their inventory beyond print comic books and offering other physical collectibles. Many businesses have achieved success by stretching their brand online to new audiences.

As much as I love digital content, I understand those who do not want to see the ink-and-paper format disappear. I think for now there is room for both. Millar and others think that comic book publishers are shooting themselves in the foot by releasing digital versions of their stories on the same date as the physical editions, but I think they are shooting themselves in the foot if they start prematurely putting the brakes on the electronic side.

If people like Millar are genuinely concerned for the loss of business that digital comics might cause to comics shops, then I recommend that they use their energy not to squash the will of many consumers, but to convince their big employers (Marvel, DC, etc.) to put their money where their mouth is and help subsidize Web sites for those shops that will become ancillary portals where fans can purchase digital comics if they wish. The publishers will sell their products and the shops will earn a cut of the profits. The physical stores could remain as outlets for the niche customers who still prefer the print comics, but also offer a wide variety of other products that can't be digitized (action figures, autographed prints, posters, and so on).

The solution is to think creatively, not to panic and squelch a popular new medium just as it's gaining widespread acceptance.

Guest Post: The Future of Video Games?

2011-12-01T20:19:00.001-05:00

I previously predicted that the future of 3D technology might lie not with movies or television or handheld devices, but with immersive video gaming experiences. One of my friends, Robert (a.k.a. the Mad Blogger), recently listed a bunch of his own prognostications for the future of video games. Along with some other posts he made, it ended up getting him banned from certain gaming forums. Here's what he wrote, judge for yourselves:

"Now through 2020:The last version (in the evolution) of video game systems (which we are starting to see now) will no longer have slots for inserting (disks or cartridges). If you want to play a video game, you download it directly to the console. There would be different fees for a trial version (for example, 24 hours with limited features), rental version (all of the features but for only a set amount of time), and purchase version (all of the features for an unlimited amount of time).

Stores like Funcoland or Gamestop will become obsolete.

Beyond 2020:Video game (console) systems will become obsolete. Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo (and other major players that might emerge) will all have subscriber-based channels on your television (or other multi-content viewing device). By subscribing to a channel, you would be able to play games associated with that channel.

There will be universal video game controllers to play games from all (content providers).

Smart televisions will come equipped with gaming (channels and operating systems) and controllers built into them.

There will be a 'picture-in-picture' feature so (multiple) players can play (multiple) games from...different systems at the same time.

Video games will include more of the senses. There will be enhanced speakers built into the controllers for better sound quality, aromas will be released from games for better smell quality, and the controllers will vibrate more (keep all comments clean here)."

What do you think? Far-fetched? Fair speculations? Are his ideas about the demise of the video game console and video game brick-and-mortar shops that controversial? The great thing about any predictions is that if you wait long enough you'll find out if the "fortune teller" was right or wrong, so time will tell.

Remembering Dreams

2011-11-30T23:27:00.000-05:00

Everybody dreams, but not everyone always remembers their dreams. Keeping a daily dream journal has been a great exercise to help me focus and make me recall my dreams more easily. This past week, I've been on vacation and I've been able to recall my night visions much more vividly than usual.

I've been re-reading my older dream journals so I think that's a factor -- the notes I've jotted down have sparked a flood of memories of the dreams I had as if they were yesterday, even though some of them were over four years ago. Maybe opening up that doorway in my brain where dreaming occurs is opening up the floodgates and making my dreams more lucid and easier to remember.

It also helps that I've been able to sleep a full eight hours each night this week. I've also been waking up without my mind pre-occupied with work-related topics, so I've been able to lie in bed for a few moments after waking and I've been able to ponder the last images of what I saw in my sleep.

Usually, I'm thankful to remember one dream a night, but sometimes I can recall two or three. If I'm really lucky, I sometimes remember up to five dreams, one flowing into the other.

On a slightly related topic, my daughter loves when I read the bedtime book Goodnight Moon to her. HBO aired a special called Goodnight Moon and Other Sleepytime Tales, and my daughter loves that as well. The show adapts a series of children's books read or sung by celebrities like Tony Bennett, Billy Crystal, Lauren Hill, Natalie Cole, Aaron Neville, Patti LeBelle, and Susan Surandon. The best part of the video are the interludes -- a bunch of interviews with little kids sharing their thoughts on dreams. Check it out.

TV Midseason Review 2011

2011-11-29T23:46:00.000-05:00

Here we are at the mid-point of another television season.

American Horror Story seems to be the break-out hit, coming out of nowhere and capturing viewers' imaginations.

Comedies are doing great, especially Zooey Deschanel's quirky New Girl.

The fairy tale inspired shows Once Upon a Time and Grimm exceeded expectations and are doing very well.

The flops are many -- most notably Charlie's Angels, Prime Suspect, and The Playboy Club.

There have been other duds that didn't live up to the hype, but are still holding on -- Terra Nova is the biggest example, but there's also Pan Am.

Two and a Half Men's post-Charlie Sheen experiment with Ashton Kutcher started off strong as predicted, but then fizzled.

Another show with a strong start, Ringer, has slowed down a bit, but is still hanging on.

Other shows have built solid early fanbases: Person of Interest, The Secret Circle, Revenge, Suburgatory, The X Factor, Unforgettable, and 2 Broke Girls.

Let's see what the second half of the season has in store.

Greatest TV Theme Songs

2011-11-29T00:53:00.002-05:00

Last night I heard the song "Where Everybody Knows Your Name" on some commercial, but it instantly made me think of the classic sitcom Cheers where it served perfectly as the theme song during its 11 season run. It started me thinking about other great theme songs, a dying art in television. Here are some of the greatest.

The Addams Family - "They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky. They're all together ooky, the Addams Family. Their house is a museum, when people come to see-em. They really are a screa-um the Addams Family. (Neat, sweet, petite!) So get a witch's shawl on, a broomstick you can crawl on. We're going to make a call on the Addams Family."

All in the Family - "Boy, the way Glenn Miller played! Songs that made The Hit Parade. Guys like us, we had it made. Those were the days. And you knew where you were then. Girls were girls and men were men. Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again. Didn't need no welfare state. Everybody pulled his weight. Gee, our old LaSalle ran great! Those were the days!"

The Brady Bunch - "Here's the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold like their mother, the youngest one in curls. Here's the story of a man named Brady who was busy with three boys of his own. They were four men living all together, yet they were all alone, 'til the one day when the lady met this fellow and they knew it was much more than a hunch that this group would somehow form a family. That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch! The Brady Bunch, the Brady Bunch! That's the way we became the Brady Bunch!"

Cheers - "Making your way in the owrld today takes everything you've got. Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot. Wouldn't you like to get away? Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came. You want to be where you can see our troubles are all the same. You want to be where everybody knows your name."

Diff'rent Strokes - "Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you may not be right for some. A man is born, he's a man of means, then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans. But they got, different strokes. It takes different strokes, it takes different strokes to move the world. Everybody's got a special kind of story. Everybody finds a way to shine. It don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? They'll have theirs and you'll have oyurs and I'll mine, and together we'll be fine, 'cause it takes different strokes to move the world. Yes, it does. It takes different strokes to move the world."

The Dukes of Hazzard - "Just'a good ol' boys, never meanin' no harm, beats all you never saw, been in trouble with the law since the day they was born. Staightenin' the curves, flattenin' the hills, someday the mountain might get 'em, but the law never will. Makin' their way the only way they know how. That's just a little bit more than the law will allow."

The Electric Company - "(Hey, you guys!) Moving out in a new way, moving out in a new way,we're gonna turn it on (turn it on). We're gonna bring you the power (you can do it). We're gonna light the dark of night like the brightest day in a whole new way. We're gonna turn it on (do do do). We're gonna bring you the power (do do do do). We're gonna tell you the truest words that you ever heard anybody say. Moving out in a new way, moving out in a new way. We're gonna turn it on, we're gonna bring you the power. It's coming down the lines, strong as they can be through the courtesy of the Electric Company!"

The Facts of Life - "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life, the facts of life. There's a time you got to go and show you're growin' now you know about the facts of life, the facts of life. When the world never seems to be livin' up to your dreams, and suddenly you're finding out the facts of life are all about you, you. It takes a lot to get 'em right when you're learning the facts of life (learning the facts of life), learning the facts of life (learning the facts of life), learning the facts of life!"

Fresh Prince of Bel Aire - "Now, this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Aire. In West Philadelphia I was born and raised. On the playground is where I spent most of my days, chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool, and all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys who were up to no good started makin' trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, and said, 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Aire.' I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said 'fresh' and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cat was rare, but I thought 'Nah, forget it. Yo, Homes, to Bel Air.' I pulled up to the house about seven or eight, and I yelled to the cabby 'Yo, Homes, smell ya later.' Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Aire."

Gilligan's Island - "Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sailing man, the skipper brave and sure. Five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour, a three hour tour. The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed, if not for the courage of the fearless crew The Minnow would be lost, The Minnow would be lost. The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle with Gilligan, the Skipper too, the millionaire and his wife, the movie star, the Professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle."

Golden Girls - "Thank you for being a friend, traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true. You're a pal and a confidant, and if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say 'Thank you for being a friend.'"

The Greatest American Hero - "Look at what's happened to me, I can't believe it myself. Suddenly I'm up on top of the world, it should've been somebody else. Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel so free. Flying away on a wing and a prayer, who could it be? Believe it or not, it's just me. It's like a light of a new day, it hit me from out of the blue, breaking me out of the spell I was in, making all of my wishes come true. Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel so free. Flying away on a wing and a prayer, who could it be? Believe it or not it's just me."

Happy Days - "Sunday, Monday, happy days, Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days, Thursday, Friday, happy days, Saturday, what a day, rockin' all week with you. This day is ours, won't you be mine. (Oh, happy days) This day is ours (Oh, happy days), Oh please be mine. Hello, sunshine, goodbye, rain, she's wearing my high school ring on her chain. She's my steady, I'm her man, I'm gonna love her all I can. Gonna cruise her round the town, show everybody what I've found, rock'n'roll with all my friends, hopin' the music never ends. These happy days are yours and mine (oh happy days), these happy days are yours and mine (oh happy days), these happy days are yours and mine, happy days!"

The Jeffersons - "Well, we're movin' on up to the East Side to a deluxe apartment in the sky, movin' on up to the East Side. We finally got a piece of the pie. Fish don't fry in the kitchen; beans don't burn on the grill. Took a whole lotta tryin' just to get up that hill. Now we're up in the big leagues, gettin' our turn at bat. As long as we live, it's you and me baby. There ain't nothin' wrong with that. Well, we're movin' on up to the East Side to a deluxe apartment in the sky, movin' on up to the east side. We finally got a piece of the pie!"

Laverne and Shirley - "(One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Schlemeel, Schlemazel, Hasenfeffer Incorporated.) We're gonna do it! Give us any chance, we'll take it. Give us any rule, we'll break it. We're gonna make our dreams come true, doin' it our way. Nothin's gonna turn us back now, straight ahead and on the track now. We're gonna make our dreams come true, doin' it our way. There is nothing we won't try, never heard the word 'impossible.' This time there's no stopping us. We're gonna do it. On your mark, get set, and go now, got a dream and we just know now, we're gonna make our dream come true and we'll do it our way, yes, our way, make all our dreams come true, and do it our way, yes, our way, make all our dreams come true for me and you."

The Love Boat - "Love, exciting and new. Come aboard. We're expecting you. Love, life's sweetest reward. Let it flow, it floats back to you. The Love Boat soon will be making another run. The Love Boat promises something for everyone. Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance, and love won't hurt anymore. It's an open smile on a friendly shore. Yes, love, it's love, welcome aboard, it's love!"

Malcolm in the Middle - "Yes, no, maybe, I don't know. Can you repeat the question? You're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big. You're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big. Life is unfair..."

The Muppet Show - "It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights, it's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight. It's time to put on makeup, it's time to dress up right, it's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight. Why do we always come here? I guess we'll never know. It's like a kind of torture to have to watch the show. And now let's get things started, why don't you get things started, it's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational, this is what we call the Muppet Show!"

Sesame Street - "Sunny day, sweepin' the clouds away, on my way to where the air is sweet. Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? Come and play. Everything's A-OK. Friendly neighbors there that's where we meet. Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?"

Welcome Back Kotter - "Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out. Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about. Well, the names have all changed since you hung around, but those dreams have remained and they're turned around. Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya) back here where we need ya (back here where we need ya). Yeah, we tease him a lot cause we've got him on the spot, welcome back. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back."

WKRP in Cincinnati - "Baby, if you've ever wondered, wondered whatever became of me, I'm living on the air in Cincinnati, Cincinnati, WKRP. Got kind of tired packing and unpacking, town to town and up and down the dial. Maybe you and me were never meant to be, but, baby, think of me once in awhile. I'm at WKRP in Cincinnati."

Wonder Woman - "Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman, all the world's waiting for you, and the power you possess. In your satin tights, fighting for our rights and the old Red, White and Blue. Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman, now the world is ready for you, and the wonders you can do. Make a hawk a dove, stop a war with love, make a liar tell the truth. Wonder Woman, get us out from under, Wonder Woman. All our hopes are pinned upon you and the magic that you do. Stop a bullet cold, make the Axis fold, change their minds and change the world. Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman, you're a wonder, Wonder Woman."

As you can see, I didn't include shows whose theme music was just intrumental (like Dallas or Sanford and Son or The X-Files or The A-Team or Bonanza or Mission: Impossible or Hawaii Five-O, etc. etc. etc.) or only had a few repetitive words (like Batman or The Simpsons) -- I think lyrics are part of the charm. Any others that you think I should have mentioned? Let me know and I'll include them in a second part to this post soon along with some others that are in my head.

Fictional Sports

2011-11-27T23:14:00.000-05:00

Everyone knows how much I love baseball, and while I may not be as much of a fanatic about football, basketball, soccer, boxing, and other sports, I definitely watch them. Real world sports are one thing. What about fictional sports, those made-up games that we see in movies, TV shows, video games, and fiction stories? Here are some of the ones that come to mind:

BASEketball - Who would come up with the concept of mixing baseball with basketball to create a silly hybrid sport? The wacky creators of South Park and The Book of Mormon, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, that's who. The best part is the trash talking, which is a vital part of the competition.

Blood Bowl - Fantasy Football has a whole new meaning when you add goblins, trolls, orcs, dwarves, elves, and other creatures to the game. Heads literally roll, limbs are torn from opponents, it's a bloody good time. It began as a roleplaying boardgame and evolved into an addictive video game that spawned a number of rip-offs. Send in the trolls!

Calvinball - Calvin and Hobbes was one of my favorite comic strips because the imaginary adventures of a little boy and his stuffed tiger were not only hilarious, but at times heartwarming as well. Calvin made up a complex game whose rules were always changing. It reminded me of all the games I used to invent with my sisters, cousins, and friends when we were kids.

Death Race - A deadly transcontinental road race -- sounds frighteningly awesome, doesn't it? The cult movie Death Race 2000 (produced by Roger Corman) starred David Carradine, Sylvester Stallone, and Simone Griffeth, and the remake, directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, starred Jason Stathem and Ian McShane. A guilty pleasure at its best.

Lightcycle Race - Who can watch TRON or TRON Legacy and not feel the need for computer-generated speed? A two-dimensional old-school video game becomes a three-dimensional cyber-contest when a "real world" player becomes transported into the Digital World and the action becomes all too real.

Podrace - The Star Wars prequels had their flaws, but the podracing sequence in The Phantom Menace was adrenalin-fueled and makes me wish it was more integral to the plot.

Quidditch - Kudos to J.K. Rowling for creating an interesting aerial sport that worked really well in her Harry Potter books and movies. Unless you're a preschooler, though, don't hop on a broom and try to play it in real life -- you'll just end up looking ridiculous.

Robot Boxing - What do you get when you blend giant robots and fisticuffs? Real Steel, starring Hugh Jackman. It's like Robo-Rocky.

Rollerball - It's like extreme roller derby, no holds barred. Check out the first movie by Norman Jewison based on the short story by William Harrison and starring James Caan. The remake was directed by John McTiernan and starred Chris Klein, Jean Reno, LL Cool J, and Rebecca Romijn.

Running Man - Stephen King's original idea about a televised game show, in which contestants are hunted to the death, might sound farfetched, but as reality shows continue to become more and more shameless, the grim future doesn't seem all that unrealistic. The movie version featured Arnold Schwarzenegger, Richard Dawson, Maria Conchita Alonso, Yaphet Cotto, and Jesse Ventura. The current bestselling book series, The Hunger Games, owes a lot to King's novel.

There are others -- the very physical Pyramid from the reimagined Battlestar Galactica and the brutal fight-to-the-death Mortal Kombat from the popular video game series, just to name two. If there are any others that you can think of, let me know.

A Perfect Day for Biking

2011-11-26T12:42:00.001-05:00

When late November gives us gorgeous days like today, we can't take them for granted or spend them completely indoors. We have to go outside and enjoy them, so I'm going biking.

When I was a kid, I used to go bicycle riding with my friends every day practically from sunrise to sunset. One of the first shortstories I remember writing was a little adventure about bike-riding buddies called "On the Dirt Road."

Last spring I bought a new bike and I'm glad this current burst of mild weather is allowing me to enjoy it so late in autumn. I hope you all are experiencing similar fantastic days and aren't letting them go to waste.

Can Film Criticism Survive on TV?

2011-11-25T23:01:00.001-05:00

With the proliferation of movie critics online posting reviews on blogs and multiple Web sites, I raised the question a while ago if professional criticism was dying. The truth of the matter is that film criticism is still alive, both online and in print. When it comes to television, however, it is definitely on life support. When At the Movies ended its syndication run, I feared that was the end. Luckily, Roger Ebert did his best to keep it alive, bringing Ebert Presents At the Movies, produced by his wife Chaz and directed by Don Dupree, to PBS.

Any televised film criticism show really depends on the personalities and chemistry of its hosts, and the new ones -- Christy Lemire of the Associated Press and Ignatiy Vishnevetsky of Mubi.com -- are great. They're intelligent, funny, and opinionated, and they have good on-screen presence together.

The show, however, is struggling to raise funds even on public television. I hope it manages to find a way to stay on the air. Although film criticism continues to work well through the written word in magazine articles and Web logs, through spoken words on radio and podcasts, and through new visual media like video blogs presented through YouTube and other online channels, television is still the perfect fit to show movie clips and have multiple critics share their analysis with millions of viewers.

The trick is to find the right critics whom viewers care enough about to tune in and listen to week after week, whether or not they agree or disagree with their value judgements, and then promote the heck out of it so that film buffs know when and where to tune in to watch it.

I admire Roger Ebert for not giving up on the format and for trying so hard to bring a quality review program to television. I hope At the Movies continues and other similiar film criticism and analysis shows pop up in the future.

The Biggest Turkeys of 2011

2011-11-24T23:17:00.001-05:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Turkeys, those ubiquitous birds that are always associated with the holiday, get a bad rap. Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey to be America's national bird, but the symbol of our young nation instead became the much more majestic bald eagle. Now, poor turkeys are the centerpiece of the traditional Thanksgiving Day meal, and the word "turkey" itself has become synonymous with a dud, a flop, something hyped for greatness that instead ends up being a disaster.

Here are my picks on the "turkeys" of 2011.

Sports Turkey -- The Boston Red Sox
Hyped to be the greatest team in baseball, predicted to not only win their division and the American League Pennant, but the World Series itself, the Red Sox suffered one of the worst collapses in the history of the game.

Movie Turkey -- Cowboys and Aliens
There were plenty of box-office disappointments this year (Green Lantern, Mars Needs Moms, Sucker Punch, etc.), but the comic adaptation directed by Jon Favreau, produced by Steven Spielberg, and starring Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig, had to be the worst. Expectations were high with a much-buzzed about Super Bowl commercial, but the results were mediocre. Its domestic ticket sales didn't come close to matching its enormous budget.

Television Turkey -- The Brent Ratner and Eddie Murphy Academy Awards Show
Oh, what a mess. I was so excited to hear that Eddie Murphy would be hosting the Oscars, and I actually anticipated an exciting ceremony produced by Brett Ratner, which would make us forget last year's boring production, but the house of cards came tumbling down. Now I can't wait to see how new producer Brian Grazer and returning host Billy Crystal make light of the fiasco.

Theater Turkey -- Spider-man: Turn Off the Dark
Never was a Broadway show so full of seeming bad luck. Delayed openings, trouble-plagued previews, tabloid-headlines about budget overruns and out-of-control injuries -- the musical version of Spider-man became a pop culture joke before a single official scathing review was printed. How could a multi-million-dollar show directed by Julie Taymor with music by Bono and The Edge turn out so apparently bad? It ended up being revamped and hope springs eternal that it will outlive its initial nightmarish early steps, but the backstage drama continues as Taymor (who was fired) sues for infringement of her creative input. The fun continues.

What other duds can you think of during the past year?

New Poll: Favorite Holiday TV Special

2011-11-23T22:39:00.000-05:00

Another poll on my City of Kik blog has concluded and a new one is beginning. I asked my faithful readers "Which new TV show are you most excited about this season?" You were all good prognosticators, picking the surprise hit series Grimm as your number one choice. (NBC is rewarding Grimm by moving it to the high profile Thursday night schedule after it did well in the Friday deathslot.) Second place was "Other," so you all had a bunch of favorite shows that grabbed your interest, which I didn't list. Of the ones I did mention, third place was tied by Terra Nova and Once Upon a Time. The rest of the shows I mentioned generated some support, but not much (Pan Am, The Playboy Club, Ringer, Charlie's Angels, The Secret Circle, Person of Interest, and Prime Suspect).

My new poll is just in time for the holiday season when the television airwaves become overloaded with Christmas cartoons, those annual favorites that many of us can't get enough. So let me know: Which holiday TV special do you love the most? Is it Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, The Year Without a Santa Claus, A Charlie Brown Christmas, something else?

Vote in the poll and I'll share the results. Let the holiday season begin!

Rest In Peace, Anne McCaffrey

2011-11-22T22:53:00.001-05:00

Dragons are usually viewed as monster cliches of fantasy, but writer Anne McCaffrey depicted them in a fresh new science fictional light as noble and intelligent creatures on a colonized planet. Due to her incredible stories in the Dragonriders of Pern series and other tales, McCaffrey became the first woman to win the Hugo Award and the Nebula Award and to be named a Grand Master of Science Fiction. Sadly, she passed away on November 21, 2011, due to a stroke.

Pern is just one example of her stellar imagination. She also wrote The Ship Who Sang, a fascinating saga about a future in which disabled children are raised to be integrated into "brainships," and many other stories that inspired readers of all ages. Her Pern adventures are being developed into a live-action adaptation -- hopefully it will be able to capture the epic grandeur of McCaffrey's source material.

The next time you see Hiccup riding Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon or one of the Na'vi soaring through the sky of Pandora on a winged Ikran in Avatar, remember that Anne McCaffrey imagined it first. May she rest in peace.

Movies Still Matter

2011-11-21T23:50:00.000-05:00

This past Sunday, the New York Times film critic (and former host of At the Movies) A.O. Scott wrote an interesting rebuttal to all the recent pronouncements that film is dead. Titled "Film Is Dead? What Else Is New?," it wasn't so much a rebuke of the cinematic doomsayers as it was a shoulder-shrugging acknowledgement that the argument had been heard before and will likely be heard again as long as the medium is part of mainstream culture. It is true that critics are always proclaiming that we are on the precipice of the end of one age and the start of another no mater what time period, now we're arguably seeing a real shift from the classic days of traditional celluloid motion pictures to a new era of digital storytelling that extends beyond the physical theater. As cinephiles gnash their teeth, pull their hair, and slit their wrists, many film buffs such as myself are not panicking. We recognize that this isn't necessarily a deathblow to cinematic art, just another stage in its evolution.

Scott writes: "It is widely assumed, almost to the extent of being conventional wisdom, that movies have suffered an overall decline in quality and that the exceptions are outliers, holdovers, or happy accidents...Whatever your preferred golden age, one thing is certain: They just don't make them like they used to...Back then (whenever it was) the stars were more glamorous, the writing sharper, the stories more cogent, and the critics more powerful."

As Scott himself admits, it's a critique that we've all heard before. It's based on nostalgia, glorifying the past while not appreciating the present. There are plenty of great films being made by moviemakers such as Darren Aronofsky, Clint Eastwood, the Coen Brothers, Woody Allen, Christopher Nolan, and on and on. The debates over the merits of any new movies by Tim Burton, Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Ridley Scott, Quentin Tarantino, Spike Lee, and countless others are really no different than what we heard decades ago about other directors. I've read old reviews that analyzed whether Alfred Hitchcock's later movies were as brilliant as his earlier work. I've come across critics of the time who actually despised Citizen Kane, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and The Empire Strikes Back. Plenty of people were making similar statements to what we are hearing today: films are changing for the worse and have lost that special magic from yesteryear. The method of filmmaking might be changing, but storytelling, for good or bad, still remains the same. Forget trends and gimmicks like 3-D or streaming video, the past, present, and future of film is, was, and will always be STORY, and there are still some excellent stories being told.

Yes, I do agree with Scott that the times they are a-changing. He writes: "If you go to a movie theater, you are less and less likely to see film in the traditional sense..." Celluloid, like print, may indeed be dying. Maybe it won't ever be totally gone, but its glory days of dominance are certainly a thing of the past. Cinema history is littered with similar shifts -- the end of the nickelodeon era, the end of the silent era, the end of the black-and-white era, the end of the movie palaces, the end of the drive-ins. Some of these sea-changes were obviously more dramatic than others, and probably none compare in scope to the current revolution in production, distribution, and exhibition, but as long as movies still tell interesting stories that grab viewers' imaginations, the medium (in one form or another) will survive.

Roger Ebert (whom I admire greatly) is one of the critics who recently declared "The Sudden Death of Film." He writes: "Was it only a few years ago that I was patiently explaining how video would never win over the ancient and familiar method of light projected through celluloid?...A great many multiplexes are no longer capable of projecting the 35mm format that has served faithfully since about 1895."

How the changing medium impacts audiences (emotionally, intellectually, socially, economically, physically) is a valid subject for academic study. (Cue the ghost of Marshall McLuhan whose theories still resonate now more than ever.) I still believe that the movie-going experience will live on. Film, even if that term itself becomes antiquated in this new digital age, will still be popular as one of the greatest forms of escapist entertainment. The same reason that live theater has survived all these centuries despite new-fangled distractions invading people leisure time is the same reason that motion pictures will continue, no matter what the naysaying critics might say.

Back when digital moviemaking was beginning to hit the mainstream, I sounded an awful lot like Roger Ebert when he writes: "I persisted in preferring the look, the feel, the vibe of celluloid. Film had a wider range -- whiter whites, blacker blacks, richer colors." But, like Mr. Ebert, I have come to accept the inevitable, unable to deny the truth: "The day is here when most of the new movies I see are in digital. You and I both know how they look, and the fact is, they look pretty good."

We go to movies and will continue to go to movies for the communal experience. It's still a good way to spend time with friends and family, to break the ice with new acquaintances, to even spend some time alone in a public space, hearing others around us laugh at the same jokes, gasp at the same surprises, and sniff back tears at the same heart-tugging scenes.

Our home theaters continue to become more impressive and comfortable, our mobile devices continue to become more powerful tools to display content, but movies themselves, those shadowplays that have up until now been called "film," are as strong as ever. A.O. Scott concludes: "The birth of the talkies, it goes without saying, represents the first death of cinema...The movies survived sound, just as they survived television, the VCR, and every other terminal diagnosis. And they will survive the current upheavals as well."

David Kehr titled his recent book When Movies Mattered. I have no qualms in saying that movies still matter, now and forever.

A Review of Requiem for Kosova

2011-11-20T21:40:00.001-05:00

The short film, Requiem for Kosova (Refren per Kosoven), packs a powerful emotional punch in its 20 minute running time. The drama, written and directed by the immensely talented Dhimitri Ismailaj, has received high praise on the international film circuit, deservedly winning awards at multiple festivals.

On the surface, it follows the story of a young Albanian girl trying to survive in post-war Kosova, dreaming of her deceased mother and imagining that she can rendevous with her again among the fairies ("zana") she believes live in the distant mountains on the horizon, just like in the storybooks she reads.

Her dreams are contrasted by a harsh reality where having a successful future is already a battle against the odds. Beneath the surface, the film is a critique of the plight of Kosova, still struggling for unified global recognition of its sovereignty, still rebuilding after the brutality of war. Even though the movie tells a fictional account, it feels all too real as the horrific plot of organ trafficking is ripped from the headlines, giving it a human face.

Little Fatmira, played to perfection by Kaona Sylejmani, sees the world through the eyes of an innocent child, where fairies are real and the hope of a magical world within reach is something that keeps her going. She lives in a world ruled by money and plagued with danger. A taxi driver (portrayed by the excellent Ramadan Malaj) refuses to drive her to the mountains where she imagines her dead mother is waiting for her, unless she can scrounge up 100 euros. The young boys in her neighborhood try to steal the candy she sells, taunting her, chasing her, and calling her names.

Seemingly everywhere, signs announce positive messages from the United Nations, but are contradicted by the everyday struggles and impoverishment that still exists in Fatmira's world. Through it all, Fatmira puts up a brave front, showing a strength and determination beyond her years. The nonlinear editing might be jarring to some viewers, but it creates an effective dreamlike quality for the story -- nightmarish, but at the same time hauntingly surreal and enticing.

The antagonist of the story, "Mrs. U.N.," (played by Arijeta Ajeti) is not without sympathy, as she herself faces heartache and tries to save her own daughter's life, but in the end she commits selfish and deplorable actions, using money and power at her disposal to propagate an illicit blackmarket driven by the desperate need to save young lives at the ironic cost of threatening so many other young ones.

Ben Wolf does a fine job with the cinematography and the supporting cast are very believable in their roles, especially Blerta Syla as Fatmira's aunt, Bislim Mucaj as Dr. Ylli, and Mentor Zymberaj as Dr. Vladimir.

As the title suggests, Requiem for Kosova is not just a mournful tale of an innocent child searching for a lost paradise, it is also a metaphor for an entire country and its people trying to find their place in a not so innocent world.

Requiem for Kosova recently screened at the Producers Club in Manhattan and will be featured in more international film festivals in the months ahead.

Dining at V-Note for My Sister's Birthday

2011-11-19T13:01:00.000-05:00

Saturday night, I'll be joining my siblings and our significant others for a nice meal at V-Note in Manhattan to celebrate my sister Elizabeth's birthday. She's vegetarian and V-Note describes itself as "an Organic Wine Bar and Vegan Bistro." If the thought of vegan cuisine turns you off, you will be pleasantly surprised -- take a look at these mouthwatering images from their menu:

Here's a full description of V-Note from their Website:
"From the creator of Blossom and Café Blossom, comes V-Note, an organic wine bar and vegan bistro set in an elegant, relaxed and inviting space on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. V-Note carries a vast selection of wine and beers, all of which are vegan, organic and/or bio-dynamic and in some cases even kosher, to accompany our completely vegan menu dedicated to fresh gourmet cuisine that is animal-caring. V-Note offers a rare opportunity for vegans and non-vegans alike to enjoy a great, satisfying meal paired with a carefully selected wine and/or beer. A kitchen that is open later fills a much needed niche for vegan restaurants in New York."

Looks and sounds delicious to me! So whether or not you're a vegetarian, I think you'll love both the food and the atmosphere at V-Note. Check it out.

When Cartoons Are Better Than Their Inspiration

2011-11-18T15:29:00.001-05:00

Sometimes, a cartoon reboot can be better than its live-action predecessor. Take for example the new Green Lantern: The Animated Series. Sure, the computer generated animation is pretty weak, but after the critical and box-office failure of the Ryan Reynolds-starring motion picture, I don’t blame Warner Bros. for pinching pennies. Still, the storyline and characterization are a hundred times better in the new cartoon than in the movie.

Next up, consider Star Wars: The Clone Wars. While the original trilogy still holds a cherished place in my memory, the saga’s heart continues beating after the drubbing of the prequels thanks to this ambitious cartoon series. While I enjoyed the style, pace, and plotting of the shorter mini-episodes created by Genndy Tartakovsky, the new series is suitably epic. I often wonder if the live-action prequels would have worked better if they followed an abbreviated version of the cartoon’s storyline.

Finally, take a look at the brand new ThunderCats. The original show was a cheesy effort to sell action-figures, even though it still had its campy charms. The new version is much more ambitious, with a mythic foundation that surpasses any of the simplistic adventures of yesteryear.

Next time Hollywood wants to remake an existing franchise, maybe they might consider hiring some of these animators to take a stab at it first.

Prophets of Science Fiction

2011-11-17T22:39:00.001-05:00

The Science Channel has another great new series that should delight speculative fiction fans -- Prophets of Science Fiction. As their Web site describes, "Each episode of the upcoming series...will focus on how the great minds of Science Fiction imagined our future for us, and how some, in turn, made their fantasies real."

The first episode looks at how the teenaged Mary Shelley "invented" the genre with her groundbreaking novel Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus. It explores the scientific experimentation of her day that inspired her and the storytelling contest that motivated her, as well as the romantic and ghost-fantasy-horror tales that were her foundation. With dramatic re-enactments and crisp computer-generated imagery, the series looks stellar. The commentary by host and producer Ridley Scott and a long list of notable guests, including Kim Stanley Robinson and Michio Kaku, brings great insight to the already fascinating look at how these imaginative dreamers came up with their ideas that not only speculated on the future, but also held a mirror up to our past and present.

Upcoming episodes will explore other great science fiction creators: Philip K. Dick, H.G. Wells, Arthur C. Clarke, Isaac Asimov, Jules Verne, Robert Heinlein, and George Lucas. I look forward to even more episodes that will hopefully examine the work of Gene Roddenberry, William Gibson, and others.

The subject matter is fascinating for long-time fans like me and a great introduction to the masters of science fiction for newbies who hopefully will seek out their work and become fans themselves.

Farewell to One of the Last Original Wizard of Oz Actors

2011-11-16T22:46:00.002-05:00

I was saddened to hear that actor Karl Slover passed away. Although he may not be a household name, any movie buff would recognize him -- he was one of the Munchkins in the classic film The Wizard of Oz. His death at the age of 93 marks the loss of yet another direct connection to that legendary production. I had the pleasure of meeting him and chatting briefly with him at the 70th anniversary celebration of that fan-favorite cinematic masterpiece. He had difficulty hearing, but was as kind-hearted as I imagined he would be. He and his fellow surviving castmembers seemed like family reconnecting again at a reunion -- and that's what it was, a bunch of old friends getting together again like family. Slover had embraced his legacy from that production he had worked on seven decades ago, visiting towns all across the country, delighting people that still hold The Wizard of Oz so warmly in their hearts.

He was only a 20-something-year-old kid when he played the Munchkin Herald with one of the trumpets and one of the Sleepyhead Munchkins. He was a little person with a giant heart.

His fellow actor Jerry Maren, one of the members of the Lollipop Guild, summed up why The Wizard of Oz still holds up so well and why so many fans continue to adore everyone connected to it: “It appeals to all, especially children … It’s more than we ever thought it was going to be. It’s part of Americana … one of the finest moments in motion picture history.”

Karl Slover's claim to fame may have been primarily that single movie so long ago, but he lived an amazing life and is an inspiration to all. He will be missed.

TV Shows That Jumped the Shark

2011-11-15T23:35:00.001-05:00

The phrase "jumping the shark" has become a cliche to refer to any moment in a popular television series when the show runs off the tracks and starts a downward spiral. It refers to that infamous episode of Happy Days in which Fonzie waterskis over a killer shark. Even I, a loyal fan of the comedy, recognized the preposterous nature of the situation -- the Fonz, the symbol of cool, looked rather dorky even to my childhood eyes, as he wore boots and his trademark leatherjacket on a sunny beach and risked his life on a dare to jump over a shark. Since then, the term "jump the shark" has developed a life of its own. (The movie equivalent is "nuke the fridge" thanks to that outlandish moment in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.)

Here are some shows and their memorable "jump the shark" moments:

The Brady Bunch - It was all pretty much over when Cousin Oliver inexplicably joined the Brady clan. It's a sign of any sitcom's demise when a young, precocious kid is brought on board in a desperate attempt to boost the ratings after the other kids on the show grow up.

Dallas - Bobby Ewing was dead, then he mysteriously showed up in a shower -- the cliffhanger revolution turned out to be one of the dumbest plot points in serial TV history when it was revealed that the entire season before in which Bobby had apparently been killed was just a bad dream by Bobby's wife Pam. The show never recovered creatively.

The Dukes of Hazzard - Bo and Luke Duke left to pursue careers as NASCAR drivers (while the actors who played them, John Schneider and Tom Wopat, left the show over bitter contract disputes) and their never-before-mentioned doppelganger cousins Coy and Vance took over the misadventures in Hazzard County. Bo and Luke eventually came back, but the damage was done.

Heroes - The great first season was quickly ruined when the time-and-space-controlling Hiro traveled back to feudal Japan in one of the most boring and ill-conceived storylines ever written, grinding the momentum of the hit series to an abrupt halt.

Laverne and Shirley - When the odd couple roommates left Milwaukee for Hollywood, they must have forgotten to pack their charm and comic timing, because the episodes that followed were horrifically bad.

Lost - Once the Smoke Monster killed my favorite character, Mr. Eko, the show died a bit for me.

Roseanne - The blue-collar comedy definitely jumped the shark when the Conner family struck it rich by winning the lottery.

Smallville - Although it still had a few moments afterwards, when Clark Kent finally moved to Metropolis it felt like something was missing. The fact that he was pretending to be some vigilante named the Blur instead of Superman was the deathblow.

Star Trek - The franchise defied the odds and continued to live on in various incarnations, but the original series began to crumble with the silly episode in which some alien chick stole Mr. Spock's brain (I kid you not).

Supernatural - I really liked this show, even when the mythology evolved beyond the monster-of-the-week premise to an epic Heaven vs. Hell storyline, but the recent plot about angel Castiel "becoming God" finally made me give up.

Three's Company - Success often ruins a man. The popular sitcom survived the departure of Suzanne Somers, but finally fizzled when Jack Tripper stopped being the struggling chef-wannabe living with two attractive women to make ends meet and become the owner of his own bistro.

V - I think the moment that really made the original science fiction show steer off course is when the alien baby, Elizabeth, started growing up at an accelerated rate with no explanation and then miraculously stopped when she become a hot twenty-something-year-old.

The X-Files - The final years were a mess, but the nail in the coffin was the pointless plotlines that were developed for the first movie adaptation that just muddied the waters without offering any satisfying resolutions.

If there are any other shows that you loved that jumped the shark that I haven't mentioned, please let me know.